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Does My Husband Have Alzheimer’s

Knowing The Stages Of Dementia Helps You Plan

Denise’s Decision | Living with her husband who suffers from Frontotemporal dementia

Even if the stages arent exact and symptoms can still be unpredictable, being able to plan ahead is essential.

The truth is that Alzheimers and dementia care is expensive and time-consuming. Being financially prepared for increasing care needs is a necessity.

On an emotional level, having an idea of what symptoms to expect helps you find ways to cope with challenging behaviors.

It also gives you a chance to mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable changes in your older adult.

Stage : Mild Cognitive Impairment

Clear cognitive problems begin to manifest in stage 3. A few signs of stage 3 dementia include:

  • Getting lost easily
  • Noticeably poor performance at work
  • Forgetting the names of family members and close friends
  • Difficulty retaining information read in a book or passage
  • Losing or misplacing important objects
  • Difficulty concentrating

Patients often start to experience mild to moderate anxiety as these symptoms increasingly interfere with day to day life. Patients who may be in this stage of dementia are encouraged to have a clinical interview with a clinician for proper diagnosis.

The Family Home Can Feel Like A Prison

Participation in social activities eventually ends to care for a husband or wife at home. Spousal caregivers may feel guilty about looking at a husband or wife who needs care as being more of an ongoing problem to deal with than a person. A home once enjoyed becomes a prison with few opportunities for outside escape.

Leaving the home can be challenging because of worries about another person being compassionate and kind to a husband or wife who may exhibit behaviors, repeat information, or pace back and forth nervously waiting for your return. A memory loss diagnosis places significant limits on life. Husbands and wives become prisoners in their own homes. Dreams of travel and time with friends during retirement years become a disappointing dream.

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Be Aware Of The Signs Of Dementia

Although dementia is not only about memory loss, that’s one of the main signs.

Some of the other signs of dementia include:

  • increasing difficulty with tasks and activities that require concentration and planning
  • changes in personality and mood
  • periods of mental confusion
  • difficulty finding the right words or not being able to understand conversations as easily

You may like to suggest you go with your friend or relative to see a GP so you can support them. You’ll also be able to help them recall what has been discussed.

A GP will ask how the symptoms have developed over time. They may also do a memory test and physical examination. Blood tests may be done to check if the symptoms are being caused by another condition.

If other causes can be ruled out, the GP will usually refer your friend or relative to a memory clinic, or other specialist service, where they may have more assessments to confirm whether they have dementia.

Read more about how dementia is diagnosed.

Symptoms Of Mild Cognitive Impairment

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Some people have a condition called mild cognitive impairment, or MCI. It can be an early sign of Alzheimers. But, not everyone with MCI will develop Alzheimers disease. People with MCI can still take care of themselves and do their normal activities. MCI memory problems may include:

  • Losing things often
  • Forgetting to go to events or appointments
  • Having more trouble coming up with words than other people the same age

Learn more about Alzheimer’s disease from MedlinePlus.

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Signs Of Mild Alzheimers Disease

In mild Alzheimers disease, a person may seem to be healthy but has more and more trouble making sense of the world around him or her. The realization that something is wrong often comes gradually to the person and his or her family. Problems can include:

  • Poor judgment leading to bad decisions
  • Loss of spontaneity and sense of initiative
  • Taking longer to complete normal daily tasks
  • Repeating questions
  • Increased sleeping
  • Loss of bowel and bladder control

A common cause of death for people with Alzheimers disease is aspiration pneumonia. This type of pneumonia develops when a person cannot swallow properly and takes food or liquids into the lungs instead of air.

There is currently no cure for Alzheimers, though there are medicines that can treat the symptoms of the disease.

Stage : Moderately Severe Dementia

When the patient begins to forget the names of their children, spouse, or primary caregivers, they are most likely entering stage 6 of dementia and will need full time care. In the sixth stage, patients are generally unaware of their surroundings, cannot recall recent events, and have skewed memories of their personal past. Caregivers and loved ones should watch for:

  • Delusional behavior

Read Also: How Do You Avoid Dementia

Why Capacity Is Needed To Execute A Living Will And A Health Care Power Of Attorney

Most attorneys and notaries are not medical professionals, so when determining the capacity to execute a legal document, they err on the side of caution. In fact, some will not even execute or prepare documents for an individual they know has an Alzheimers diagnosis.

I feel this approach is extreme and will personally execute documents for a person who can explain the basic purpose of the document to me 15 minutes after I explain it to him or her. But, in my experience, most middle to late-stage Alzheimers patients are not able to do so.

An Alzheimers diagnosis is overwhelming for the parent or senior diagnosed and their loved ones. As you prepare for the future, be sure to talk to senior loved ones early about getting a living will and a health care power of attorney.

They may resist at first, but dont give up when your loved one needs them, you will both be glad they have one.

Review The Warning Signs Of Alzheimers

My Husbands Dementia

Alzheimer’s disease has a few distinct warning signs. Watch out for these changes in behavior and thinking that may indicate your loved one is in the early stages of the disease.

  • Memory loss: This can include a failure to recall recent events or asking the same question over and over. The person may also lose things often and become frustrated while looking for them.
  • Confusion about time or place: The person may forget where they are or what year it is.
  • Difficulty interpreting visual information: Your loved one might not recognize familiar faces and could have trouble judging distances.
  • Trouble with written and verbal communication: Your loved one may frequently have a hard time coming up with the right word or communicating their thoughts.
  • Lack of interest: The person may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy.
  • Trouble with familiar tasks: The person may have a hard time completing familiar tasks like following a recipe or balancing a checkbook. They may get lost while driving to familiar places.
  • Trouble planning or thinking ahead:The person may have a hard time paying bills on time or planning activities.
  • Mood or personality changes: Your loved one may be abnormally irritable or have mood swings that seem out of character.
  • Poor judgment: Your previously savvy loved one may be easily persuaded by salespeople or may be less cautious when driving.

Recommended Reading: How To Interact With Dementia Patients

Caring For A Spouse With Dementia

Caring for a spouse with dementia is challenging no matter how much you love them. It can be particularly difficult if the caregiver has a serious or chronic illness of their own. Here are nine suggestions to make this difficult transition a little easier.

  • Ask for help.Spouses may be in this together, but they dont have to go it alone. If family and friends offer to help with visits or errands, accept the help. Caregivers need time to take a break so they can bring their best selves to the situation.
  • Take advantage of community resources.Meals on wheels, home health agencies, and the local Area Agency on Aging can help with meals, extra care, and adult day centers. Churches, synagogues, and other places of worship are also an excellent place to find support through the daily challenges a couple faces when one of them has Alzheimers disease.
  • Give yourself time to learn new skills.If one spouse always handled the bills, housekeeping, or the lawn care, the other may find themselves struggling to take over these new tasks. Expect there to be a learning curve. Ask a family member or friend to help walk you through it.
  • Try not to argue.When your spouse gets a date or detail wrong, dont correct them or argue with them. If they say they want to go home while sitting in the living room youve shared for 40 years, say okay then tell them youll leave in a little while when traffic is better. Redirection like this can help keep your spouse calm and happy.
  • How Memory Support Can Benefit You Both

    Once youve made the decision to move your spouse with Alzheimers disease into a senior living community, youll want to find one where your loved one will be known and valued. In Senior StarMemory Support, your loved one will benefit from:

    • 24-hour care and attention from associates dedicated to giving your loved one purpose each and every day.
    • Daily life that supports their needs and honors who they are. This includes specialprogramming such as Destination Stations®, Snoelzelen® Multi-Sensory Environments, Dakim® BrainFitness Software, Music & Memory, and Signature Country Store Concept.
    • A setting that is as safe as it is comfortable featuring a secure entrance, nurses on site 24/7 and emergency call bracelets for added peace of mind.
    • Group dining that features nutritious fare selected for ease of eating, and served in a calm, soothing setting with assistance from dedicated caregivers. Special exercise and wellness programs with staff on hand for assistance.

    At Senior Star, we do everything we can to make a positive difference in the lives of our Memory Care residents. Our communities provide experienced care that nurtures the individuality, knowledge, and skills that remain.Contact us. And download our free guideA Family Guide to Funding Senior Care & Housingfor more helpful information.

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    What Are The Signs Of Alzheimer’s Disease

    Scientists continue to unravel the complex brain changes involved in the onset and progression of Alzheimers disease. It seems likely that damage to the brain starts a decade or more before memory and other cognitive problems appear. During this preclinical stage of Alzheimers disease, people seem to be symptom-free, but toxic changes are taking place in the brain.

    Damage occurring in the brain of someone with Alzheimers disease begins to show itself in very early clinical signs and symptoms. For most people with Alzheimersthose who have the late-onset varietysymptoms first appear in their mid-60s. Signs of early-onset Alzheimers begin between a persons 30s and mid-60s.

    The first symptoms of Alzheimers vary from person to person. Memory problems are typically one of the first signs of cognitive impairment related to Alzheimers disease. Decline in non-memory aspects of cognition, such as word-finding, vision/spatial issues, and impaired reasoning or judgment, may also signal the very early stages of Alzheimers disease. And some people may be diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. As the disease progresses, people experience greater memory loss and other cognitive difficulties.

    Alzheimers disease progresses in several stages: preclinical, mild , moderate, and severe .

    Surviving A Partners Alzheimers Disease Losing Twice

    Husband diagnosed with dementia after caring for wife with same ...

    I lost my wife, Clare, to Alzheimers disease in the spring of 2016 and with 2020 now here I am still struggling to fully move on with the rest of my life. I did not expect to have such a long struggle because I had already felt widowed for several years before Clare died. She was confused all the time, she was increasingly unable to express herself in words, she no longer knew who I was, and we had been living apart. Her mental faculties were gone, and Clare wasnt Clare anymore. I was grieving that loss every day.

    But even after Clares mind was gone, I could still be with her. I held her hands, hugged her tightly, kissed her, and told her how much I loved her. Usually there was no response, sometimes I received a smile, and on those increasingly rare days when she would say a few words in response, her words were often, Can you please find my husband? Clare was there with me, yet really not there with me at all.

    With no cure for AD, once your spouse or partner receives an AD diagnosis, it can become a death sentence. The unanswered question is how much quality time you may still have together. I started observing AD symptoms when Clare was 60 and her AD diagnosis was confirmed a few years later. After her diagnosis, we were only able to enjoy a few more good years together.

    Social workers who facilitate support groups for those who have lost a partner to AD must understand that survivors may experience death differently than those in other support groups.

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    Stage : Moderate Dementia

    Patients in stage 5 need some assistance in order to carry out their daily lives. The main sign for stage 5 dementia is the inability to remember major details such as the name of a close family member or a home address. Patients may become disoriented about the time and place, have trouble making decisions, and forget basic information about themselves, such as a telephone number or address.

    While moderate dementia can interfere with basic functioning, patients at this stage do not need assistance with basic functions such as using the bathroom or eating. Patients also still have the ability to remember their own names and generally the names of spouses and children.

    Honoring Alzheimers Patients And Their Families

    Proceeds from the sale of the Alzheimers stamp go toward the National Institutes of Health for Alzheimers research. They are voluntarily purchased by citizens, including loved ones of people with Alzheimers disease, Kathy explains.

    Even if someone isnt able to leave the house while theyre caring for someone with Alzheimers, buying the stamp gives them power to contribute directly to research.

    The Alzheimers disease semipostal stamps circulation is due to end Nov. 30, 2019. Kathy, Lynda Everman and their fellow advocates are working with legislators and others to extend the circulation period. On June 5, 2019, the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate introduced legislation calling for the stamps circulation to continue for six more years.

    But already, the stamp has raised more than $915,000 for Alzheimers disease research. Its easy to imagine that Gene Siggins would be proud.

    Kathy has been inducted into the Maryland Senior Citizens Hall of Fame for her volunteer efforts in 2019. This year, she plans to participate in her 26th Walk to End Alzheimers event. Her team has already raised close to $112,000 for families, support groups, seminars, assessments, safe return and medical alert programs.

    The walk raises money that provides a lot of services that werent available when Gene was ill, Kathy says.

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    How Relationships Change

    Alzheimer’s disease does not change a personâs need for love and affection, but it changes many aspects of a relationship. You may lose the companionship of someone who has been close and important to you. Youâll need to find different ways to express your feelings.

    Alzheimer’s disease can also affect the sexual relationship of partners. It can change a person’s interest in sex, either increasing or decreasing it. This may create a problem. For example, the person may put demands on you for more sex than is wanted.

    A person with dementia may be overly affectionate at the wrong time or place. If this happens, explain the disease and its effects to the people involved to help them understand.

    You may also find your role in your relationship has changed. Perhaps the person always looked after the familyâs finances and this task has now fallen to you. Making decisions about financial and legal matters may be overwhelming. You may need to ask family members, friends or professionals to help you.

    The Alzheimer Society can help donât try to do this alone!

    Reaching A Tipping Point

    Loving a husband with dementia

    A tipping point was reached in 2013 when a doctor friend told me, You need a diagnosis for Di!.

    We started the process, but it took over six months to get this diagnosis, initially of mild cognitive impairment followed quickly by early Alzheimers.

    Meanwhile, Di was found to have a small tumour on one breast. Thank goodness, this was caught at an early stage, with an operation within a month of first diagnosis plus radiotherapy a few months later. 2014 was not the best of years!

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    How Did You Or A Loved One Handle These Revelations

    Do you have a story of how you or a loved one moved through this period of a new Alzheimers or dementia diagnosis? Did you handle it differently with different people in your life? Did you let it travel by word of mouth? Whatever you did, what would you repeat, and what would you do differently? Please share your story. There is surely much we can learn.

    Continue To Strive For A Healthy Relationship

    Sometimes, it’s the little things. While you will have to accept that things are changing, you may still be able to build moments into the day where you nurture your marriage. Hold his hand, wink at her across the room, or share a chocolate milkshake together. Give her a kiss and tell her she’s beautiful. If it’s too hard to go out to his favorite restaurant on your anniversary, perhaps you can have it brought to you.

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