Do Not Try To Stop A Person Who Wants To Leave A Room
Staying in one place for long periods may result in behavior problems in the dementia patient. It is essential to have a safe environment where they can enjoy the outdoors without any problem. When someone tries to leave a room, do not force them to stop. Doing this may result in an extreme reaction such as severe distress or injuries.
Instead, it is best to accompany the patient so that they are safe. You can even suggest going for a drive around the block so that they can experience a new environment for a short period. If they do not want company, just let them go but stay close by to make sure that the patient is safe at all times.
The Impact Of Dementia On The Individual
Most people living with dementia experience problems with their memory and thinking. This can lead to loss of:
- Self-esteem and confidence
- The ability to carry out hobbies
- Everyday life skills
However, the person will still keep some of their abilities. They will still feel an emotional connection to people and their environment, even later on in the condition.
Dementia will affect a person’s day-to-day life. There are approaches carers can take to lessen the impact of any changes and help the person keep a sense of normality for as long as possible.
Take A Break From Caring
Taking regular breaks can help you to look after yourself and better support you in caring for someone with dementia.
Family and friends may be able to provide short breaks for you to have time “just for you”.
Other options include:
- day centres social services or your local carers’ centre should provide details of these in your area
- respite care this can be provided in your own home or for a short break in a care home
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How To Talk To Someone With Dementia Alzheimer’s Or Memory Loss
Communicating with a person with memory loss can be difficult, but the right strategies can bridge the gap and foster a more fulfilling relationship between you and your patient or loved one.
Those struggling to communicate with a person who has memory loss are not alone. As many as four million people in the US may have Alzheimer’s, and, as our population ages, that number is expected to increase. Anyone who is a senior caregiver is likely to be affected and will need to understand how to cope with what is happening.
Memory loss associated with aging, dementia, and Alzheimer’s typically doesnt happen overnight. Slowly, little-by-little, it sneaks up, until one day, family members realize that they can no longer communicate in the same way with the person they’ve known for years. They suddenly can’t rely on their words and their sentences dont match the situation.
Because we cannot see the diseasethe way we see a broken armits even more confusing when caregivers see how their patient and/or loved one will have good and bad days. The days when theyre alert and clear-headed make a caregiver hopeful. Then the bad days come, and family members and caregivers feel the pain of losing their patient and/or loved one all over again. This slow and normal progression of the disease makes communication a major challenge for caregivers.
This blog will share more information and advice to improve communication, including:
Use Positive Expression & Tone
Go into the conversation with very positive energy and attitude. Humor, smiles, laughter, and a good attitude can help guide the conversation in a way that keeps everyone engaged and happy. Using facial expressions, affectionate touch, and a happy tone of voice can help convey your message that otherwise might be missed if you were to speak and act very monotonously.
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Make Time For Reflection
At each new stage of dementia, you have to alter your expectations about what your loved one is capable of. By accepting each new reality and taking time to reflect on these changes, you can better cope with the emotional loss and find greater satisfaction in your caregiving role.
Keep a daily journal to record and reflect on your experiences. By writing down your thoughts, you can mourn losses, celebrate successes, and challenge negative thought patterns that impact your mood and outlook.
Count your blessings. It may sound counterintuitive in the midst of such challenges, but keeping a daily gratitude list can help chase away the blues. It can also help you focus on what your loved one is still capable of, rather than the abilities theyve lost.
Value what is possible. In the middle stages of dementia, your loved one still has many abilities. Structure activities to invite their participation on whatever level is possible. By valuing what your loved one is able to give, you can find pleasure and satisfaction on even the toughest days.
Improve your emotional awareness. Remaining engaged, focused, and calm in the midst of such tremendous responsibility can challenge even the most capable caregivers. By developing your emotional awareness skills, however, you can relieve stress, experience positive emotions, and bring new peace and clarity to your caretaking role.
Relationships Roles And Responsibilities
Relationships form a central part of our identity. Relationships often change when someone has dementia. People with dementia can easily become isolated or avoided by those around them. They may lose contact with friends and family, who may not know how to react to them.
As dementia progresses, some aspects of the relationship may become harder, such as the ability of a person with dementia to support those around them. However, many positive elements of the relationship will remain. Carers and those around the person with dementia may find it helpful to focus on these positive aspects.
Carers can help by supporting existing relationships and encouraging the person with dementia to join social groups, community activities, religious activities or hobbies. Dementia cafés provide an opportunity to meet other people, talk about living with dementia and take part in group activities. The GP surgery, local library or council office will also have information about other social groups.
Search your local services
Carers and others can also help in creating a dementia-friendly community. This is a community in which local people have an understanding of dementia, which empowers people with dementia to feel confident and be able to contribute to their community.
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Do Try And Identify The Trigger That Causes Behavior Change
After spending some time with a patient who has dementia, caregivers may be in a position to identify some of the things that make dementia sufferers yell, get physical, or change their mood. For some, it may be something simple such as taking a bath or even getting dressed.
The best approach to handle this is not to force the patient to do something that they do not want to do. Try and distract them with something else that allows them to relax and calm down. Once they are not a danger to themselves or anyone around them, try going back to the subject, but this time reassuringly and calmly.
Moving To A Care Home
If the persons needs become too great for you to manage at home, you may need to consider other long-term options. If youre becoming exhausted or the person with dementia is becoming harder to care for, a care home might be the best option for you both.
A move to a care home can be a difficult decision, but there are limits to the care you can provide.
If the person you care for is moving into a care home, familiar furniture, belongings or music can help them feel more settled.
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Tips For Managing Your Loved Ones Confusion
Simplification is key here, Hashmi says. To help minimize confusion, he suggests several ways to simplify both the home environment and your interactions:
Provide structure.
- Keep familiar objects around to help reorient your loved one.
- Label drawers and cabinets. This is especially helpful if confusion about where to find things is a common trigger.
- Use tools such as alarms, calendars, and to-do lists to help them remember tasks.
Deliberately use simple, short sentences and ask yes/no questions.
- Normalize their experience. Say, Youre confused. Its okay. Well figure it out together.
- Lead with what you think might be happening. For example: It seems like youre looking for something.
- Its often much easier for your loved one to answer yes or no questions, instead of coming up with the words themselves. Are you looking for your keys? Are you looking for your glasses?
Lastly, Hashmi says, it helps if you can learn to accept the confusion. In the moment, he says, whatever your loved one thinks is real is in fact their reality. For example, they might think theyre at work when theyre really at home. If that belief isnt hurting them or anyone else, its OK for you to play along a little bit. Confronting or trying to change the belief often leads to agitation and aggression.
For us as caregivers, we have to be OK with that confusion, Hashmi says.
How To Communicate With Someone Who Has Alzheimers
By: www.ALZinfo.org
How can I communicate better with my loved one who has Alzheimers?
Learning about Alzheimershow it progresses and how it is managed is critical to understanding how best to interact and communicate with a person who has Alzheimers disease. Along the way, you will learn many tips and strategies for coping with the symptoms of the disease. These symptoms will change as the disease progresses, and you may need to continually adapt your strategies as your loved ones symptoms and challenges change.
One successful approach to reducing inappropriate behaviors is to communicate in a way your loved one can understand. Consider how your loved one sees the world, and keep that in mind as you spend time with your loved one. It can also help to join in when the person reminisces about happier times from years past, by sharing memories and old photos. Focusing on past times that the person might be able to recall may be less stressful than trying to talk about current or recent events, which may baffle and frustrate your loved one.
Tips for Communicating Better
Here are some other tips that might help you communicate with a person with Alzheimers:
Effective Techniques
Some specific communication techniques have been shown to be effective in reducing behavior problems and improving day-to-day functioning of people with Alzheimers and other dementias:
Dealing with Aggressive Behavior
Taking Steps to Reduce Agitation
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S To Managing Difficult Dementia Behaviors
1. REASSURE the person
The hard truth: the person with dementia cant change the way he or she is. You have to change your reaction and the environment or situation.
So putting the person first in your thinking as you react is paramount.
Reassuring brings anxiety, upset, or other stress down a notch. It communicates Im on your side. I take you seriously. Not feeling understood makes anyone more distressed. For someone with dementia, you create a floor to what must feel like bottomless uneasiness.
The catch: To reassure someone else, we first have to collect our own feelings. This can be hard because these are almost always emotionally charged situations!
Its easy to feel annoyed when your parent is about to drive off yet another caregiver with false accusations. Or scared when your spouse lashes out or hits. Or embarrassed when Moms blouse comes off. Or worried Dad will fall or get lost. We want to REACT!
Showing emotional intensity only makes things worse. It puts the other person on the defensive and adds to their instability . Also, people with dementia tend to be very sensitive to others moods, mirroring their demeanor. If youre upset, theyre apt to continue to be upset or become more upset. If youre calm and reassuring, you have a much better chance of transmitting that state.
How to reassure:
Approach slowly and from the front. Youre less likely to startle, confuse, or provoke.
2. REVIEW the possible causes
How to try to understand the WHY:
Getting Lost Outside The Home
A person with dementia may leave the house and forget where they were going or why. They may also have problems recognising familiar environments and this can lead to them getting lost or coming to harm.
How you can help
- If the person gets lost when going out alone, consider going out with them, or arranging for someone else to do so.
- If the person is happy to, it can help if other people who live nearby are told about the persons difficulties. People like neighbours and local shopkeepers may be able to help if the person gets lost.
- The person may find having a mobile phone useful. There are easy-to-use mobiles available if the person is not used to having one. You may also consider using assistive technology products, such as a GPS device. For more information see Using technology to help with everyday life.
- Make sure the person has some form of identification when they go out, as well as contact numbers of people they know well. An emergency identification device, such as those provided by MedicAlert, may be helpful.
Alzheimers Society also provide helpcards that people with dementia can carry around with them in case they need assistance when out in the community. See our information on supporting a person who often leaves the house.
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Things Not To Say To Someone With Dementia
Speaking to an elderly loved one with dementia can be difficult and emotionally draining. Alzheimers and dementia can lead to conversations that dont make sense, are inappropriate or uncomfortable, and may upset a family caregiver. However, over time, its important to adapt to the seniors behavior, and understand that their condition doesnt change who they are.
For senior caregivers, its important to always respond with patience. Here are some things to remember not to say to someone with dementia, and what you can say instead.
1. Youre wrong
For experienced caregivers, this one may seem evident. However, for someone who hasnt dealt with loss of cognitive function before, it can be hard to go along with something a loved one says that clearly isnt true. Theres no benefit to arguing, though, and its best to avoid upsetting a senior with dementia, who is already in a vulnerable emotional state due to confusion.
Instead, change the subject.
Its best to distract, not disagree. If an elderly loved one makes a wrong comment, dont try to fight them on it just change the subject and talk about something else ideally, something pleasant, to change their focus. There are plenty of things not to say to someone with dementia, but if theres one to remember, its anything that sounds like youre wrong.
2. Do you remember?
Instead, say: I remember
3. They passed away.
Instead
4. I told you
Instead, repeat what you said.
Instead, leave the room.
How Should I Deal With False Accusations From A Mentally Fit Mean Mom
Im so unhappy.
I have a mom whos mentally fit. Tested many times by doctor: shes mentally healthy.
I have one brother whom my mom adores. He does nothing to help. I help my elderly mom. I dont live with her.
I have minimum contact with her. Shes very mean to me. Today she went beyond any previous limit of meanness: she falsely accused me of stealing her money and denying her access to her own money. Its all false.
My brother calls her once a year to say hi. Today, in front of me, while I helped her with errands, she called my brother to falsely accuse me. He believed her . I told him its not true and I showed him the bank statements. He saw its not true.
I cant believe how badly Im treated compared to my brother.
I guess some people can shrug off false accusations. I can too. But it got me angry that she falsely accused me to my brother and that he believed it. I guess I shouldnt care what he thinks. But I prefer to quickly clear my name, to quickly set things right, so I immediately showed the bank statements.
How do you deal with such nasty behavior?
Thanks in advance.
I guess you just reduce contact to almost nothing. Anyway, Im angry.
Sorry for this, but I need to express it this way. This is how I feel: !> ,~^+=*%%%%}{{]~> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edit:someone replied:If she is not having mental issues or dementia, then I would 100% blow her off.
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Dealing With Stubbornness In Parents Living With Dementia: 50 Expert Tips For Communicating Gaining Cooperation And Understanding Behavior
Caring for aging parents gives adult children peace of mind to know they are providing loving care. It also allows for them to make more memories and spend more time with parents in the final chapter of their lives. But caregiving is far from easy, especially when loved ones are diagnosed with dementia. Resisting care and general stubbornness are two hallmarks of dementia, and they are among the most common reasons that adult children look for help as caregivers.
If youre unsure how to deal with stubbornness in parents with dementia, youre not alone. Most family caregivers of loved ones with dementia struggle daily with getting them to the doctor, gaining their cooperation, convincing them to bathe and brush their teeth, and communicating with them. Read on for a comprehensive list of tips from other caregivers, medical professionals, gerontologists, and dementia experts. Tips are categorized and listed them alphabetically within each category, but are not ranked or rated in any way.
If you need help caring for a parent or a loved one with dementia at home, learn more about Seniorlinks coaching and financial assistance program for caregivers of Medicaid-eligible friends and family members.