Hire A Professional Caregiver
Lastly, dont be afraid to ask for help.
Finding a compassionate professional caregiver can ease the burden of family caregiving, especially when a parent exhibits signs of dementia and memory loss.
Whether your parent needs daily assistance or24-hour dementia care, specially trained caregivers will:
- Provide an extra set of hands
- Enhance safety and security
- Give peace of mind
- Help keep parents comfortable at home for as long as possible
Hiring an in-home caregiver for your loved done is also a great way to take some of the caregiving burdens off your shoulders.
Things Not To Say To Someone With Dementia
Speaking to an elderly loved one with dementia can be difficult and emotionally draining. Alzheimers and dementia can lead to conversations that dont make sense, are inappropriate or uncomfortable, and may upset a family caregiver. However, over time, its important to adapt to the seniors behavior, and understand that their condition doesnt change who they are.
For senior caregivers, its important to always respond with patience. Here are some things to remember not to say to someone with dementia, and what you can say instead.
1. Youre wrong
For experienced caregivers, this one may seem evident. However, for someone who hasnt dealt with loss of cognitive function before, it can be hard to go along with something a loved one says that clearly isnt true. Theres no benefit to arguing, though, and its best to avoid upsetting a senior with dementia, who is already in a vulnerable emotional state due to confusion.
Instead, change the subject.
Its best to distract, not disagree. If an elderly loved one makes a wrong comment, dont try to fight them on it just change the subject and talk about something else ideally, something pleasant, to change their focus. There are plenty of things not to say to someone with dementia, but if theres one to remember, its anything that sounds like youre wrong.
2. Do you remember?
Instead, say: I remember
3. They passed away.
Instead
4. I told you
Instead, repeat what you said.
Instead, leave the room.
Get Rid Of Distractions
Along with dementia comes a struggle to maintain focus amidst environmental distractions.
In fact, it might be impossible for your mom or dad to focus 100% when youre talking to them.
Thats why you want to make sure to get rid of all types of audio and visual distractions if an important conversation needs to be had with your elderly loved one.
That can be anything, from turning off the television or radio to going to a private room where there are fewer people.
Give them the chance to focus on you and exactly what youre saying if its really important.
But remember that theres only so much you can do to draw your parents attention and focus.
Also keep in mind that they will have good days and bad days, so dont assume that turning off the television is all your loved one needs to focus on what youre saying.
Leave conversations for a new day if they can wait.
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Tell Your Family Of The Petition For Guardianship
Once youve filled out and filed the correct forms, the next step for getting guardianship over a parent is to tell your parents and other family members about your petition for guardianship.
The court wont tell your family members for you, so its up to you to connect with them. If you dont serve all the necessary individuals, then your hearing for guardianship will be canceled.
Introduce Familiar Things Such As A Favorite Song Or Blanket
Dementia can thrust older people into the throes of confusion. Moving to a new space as weve established certainly does not help. Once your loved one leaves their home and their way of life as they know it, they could begin getting upset.
Try to keep familiar elements out and visible throughout the moving process so the transition might be more seamless. For example, on the drive over to the seniors new place, you might play their favorite music.
You could have a TV set up in their new room thats playing a classic movie they love. Perhaps you use an air freshener in the car that smells like a scent thats meaningful to them.
You can even give them a comfortable, familiar item like a scarf, a blanket or a plushie, or maybe a photo album they can look through.
These small steps can make a big difference in helping your senior get to their new living quarters with fewer interruptions.
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Should I Correct Someone With Memory Loss
Whether or not to correct older adults with memory problems depends on the severity of the problem.
- If they have been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers disease, then its likely not a good idea to try to correct them.
- If its very slight short-term memory loss , then its likely the right thing to do.
When I interned as an Occupational Therapist, I was living in South Florida. The majority of patients in hospitals and rehab centers were elderly and many of them had mild to severe memory problems.
The thinking back then was that if the patient said it was 1953 we were supposed to correct them. If they said that their mother was coming to pick them up soon, we were supposed to remind them that their mother had passed away many years ago.
As you can probably imagine this was not a good approach and made for very difficult conversations. My poor patients became frightened, anxious and even more confused.
Thankfully, that only lasted my first year as an OT then medical professionals realized it was impacting the mental health of dementia patients and the approach evolved to what it is today. Which is that if you are aware of memory problems in your elderly loved one and they make a statement that isnt true or they forget an event just go along with it, let it slide and dont make an issue of it.
This technique is called Therapeutic Fibbing and its very effective.
Alzheimers & Dementia Care Offered At Terra Vista
It can be difficult to provide the proper care for a loved one with dementia on your own. The staff at our Alzheimers care facility are well trained in what to do when an individual with dementia refuses care. Through a resident-centered approach, we can deliver your loved one personalized care. We accomplish this by asking about your loved ones personal preferences and what their life was like before having dementia. From what they like to eat to what they did for a living, each question helps us develop a customized plan for your parent. We encourage you to take a tour of our facility or head to our website. If you have any questions about the accommodations and Alzheimers care programs at our dementia care facility, give our staff a call at 534-0886. See if Terra Vista can be the new place that your loved one calls home.
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Maintain A Medication Routine
Building trust and understanding when your parent refuses help is a slow but important process. They may refuse medication because they arent able to explain side effects, they dont understand what the medication is for, or they dont recognize or trust their caregiver. Start by trying to understand what your parent wants and build a routine off of that. Itll take patience from you, but itll also make giving your loved one their medicine that much easier.
Try To Understand The Motivation Behind Their Behavior
When approaching your loved one, listen not only to what they are saying but also to what they may not be saying. For example, they may be afraid to move to assisted living because they are worried about making friends. They may be resisting visiting the physician because they fear what their doctor may say about their condition. Many times, fear or anxiety is the underlying culprit of their behavior.
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Tip #: Prepare And Research
The first thing youll want to do is prepare yourself and do some research.
Take time to read articles, books, or talk with others around you who might be caring for a parent with dementia. You might also be able to find online videos or classes to help with the preparation.
Youll also want to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally. Write out some memories of your loved one. Take some time to think about who they were and some of the things that they enjoyed. These can help you remember who your loved one is if their personality starts to change.
If possible, plan and prepare ahead of time. Many preliminary resources exist to help you start the journey of caring for your loved one with dementia well.
The Importance Of Annual Medical Check
This same lack of awareness applies to any health conditionheart disease, diabetes, COPD. When these diseases remain undiagnosed, they cause more problems later. For this reason, an annual check-up has benefits even if you think you dont need it.
Even if one sees a primary doctor who confirms early memory loss, the diagnosis may be classified as mild cognitive impairment or MCI, which may not be taken seriously.
If the doctor a parent sees is not comfortable or experienced with advancing memory loss or if you or your parent dont ask questions, this is a missed opportunity to learn about preventative steps.
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Know That Timing Is Everything
Productive conversations never happen when everyone is feeling stressed out or exhausted. Make sure you choose to have challenging conversations on days when your parents are feeling relaxed rather than depressed or anxious. That goes for you, too avoid talking when you feel particularly stressed because your anxiety will only add to their fear.
Dont Talk Down To Them
Respect that your elderly parents are still adults.
Even though you are now your parents caregiver, that doesnt mean that you should be speaking down to them in any shape or form.
Speaking to your mom or dad as if theyre a child can be quite embarrassing and degrading for your parent.
They might not understand everything that youre saying, but theyre still an adult and are trying their best to hold a conversation with you.
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Use calm and friendly body language, and avoid body language that makes you seem frustrated or annoyed, like: sighing. rolling your eyes. crossing your arms. When talking with a person living with dementia, watch for non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, hand gestures and posture.
Nov 12, 2021 · If they may have trouble managing things by themselves or with your familys help, it may be time to consider professional assistance. At Discovery Village At Southlake, our Shine® Memory Care center is a top-notch, nationally recognized community that is specifically designed for the support and care of individuals with dementia..
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Looking At Dementia From A Different Perspective
Its also tricky if the healthy parent, siblings, or other family members are in denial about the day-to-day situation. So how can you deal with the stress of family members or yourself who might be struggling with looking at the problem from a different perspective?
How can you be more empathetic, compassionate, or proactive instead of being reactive or stuck in a mindset not open to change? Experiencing any change, especially if one is already a caregiver facing many unexpected situations, can result in hesitance or procrastination.
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How To Convince A Parent To Go To Assisted Living
In Good Times And Bad Times Stick With Them
Yes, they have reached the peak of their lives and that makes them too proud to the point that they think they will be okay on their own. Barbara Krane who co-authored Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide for Stressed-Out Children explained that how seniors stubbornly act is comparable to how adolescents struggle with their parents. There are a lot of coping mechanisms, such as yelling, walking-out, and throwing tantrums, that can be stressful for both parties. However, these should not be the reasons to give up on elderly parents refusing assisted living or caregiving services. Instead of forcing your father to stop driving, why not drive for him and just let him enjoy the ride? This way, he will realize that being dysfunctional in some aspects is not a completely bad thing.
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Mutants And Masterminds 3e The Trove
The adult children notice that Mom or Dad is “slipping” mentally, and getting more frail. They mention maybe it’s time to get someone in to help out. The kind suggestion is. When your aging parents wont accept help even when they need it, try doing this: Provide multiple options. Talk up the positives. Appeal to their emotions. Consider guardianship. This can be a headache-inducing and difficult situation to be in, but we have guidance to help family caregivers get through it..
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Benefits Of Seeing A Medical Specialist
So with MCI, there can be this sense of limbo about having advancing memory loss with a person wondering, do I or dont I? Not having enough or the necessary information is why looking at research and asking questions about memory loss testing becomes very important.
Family caregivers must be proactive and ask how to deal with dementia in a parent to avoid surprises in the future. Unfortunately, my experience is that most primary care physicians lack experience in diagnosing dementia and Alzheimers.
Connecting with medical specialists for a diagnosis and prognosis of what the future looks like is critical. Make an appointment with a neurologist, neuropsychologist, or geriatrician. Research confirms that mild cognitive impairment is likely to translate into dementia or Alzheimers.
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Refusing To Go To The Doctor
Some people with dementia may not want to bother with attending a doctors appointment or may insist that it is not necessary. The tips below can help you address the concern and figure out what may be driving the refusal.
- Is the issue urgent? If it isnt, pick your battles and consider using telehealth instead for a routine appointment.
- Try and find out what the fear or concern is. Perhaps your parent doesnt like the doctor or is afraid of needles. Be reassuring, and avoid using a condescending tone.
- If there is an urgent need, you may have to push more forcefully for a visit. Do so with confidence but kindness.
Caregivers And Family Members Should Always Provide Reassurances
According to the Alzheimers Association, its helpful when you try to say calming phrases such as:Youre safe hereIm sorry that you are upsetIm hereI wont leave you
These words work like a soothing balm that calms down your loved ones and makes them feel safe. Its equally important that you maintain your composure when they get violent or aggressive. Dont get upset, just be positive, remain calm and reassuring. Try to always speak slowly in a soft tone.
11. Use memorabilia and make them remember the good timesYou can always try reminding them about their old adventures, people and places they liked to visit. You can bring pictures or sing their favorite songs. If they have no memory of past events, or they get upset when you bring them up, change the topic, and talk about something else.
12. Ensure everyones safety: the patient with dementia, you, or your caregiverMake sure you and the person are safe. If the person is unable to calm down, seek assistance from others. Always call 911 in emergency situations. If you do call 911, make sure to tell responders the person has dementia, which causes them to act aggressively.- Alzheimers Association
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Tips For Home Safety For People With Dementia
As a caregiver or family member to a person with Alzheimers or related dementias, you can take steps to make the home a safer place. Removing hazards and adding safety features around the home can help give the person more freedom to move around independently and safely. Try these tips:
- If you have stairs, make sure there is at least one handrail. Put carpet or safety grip strips on stairs, or mark the edges of steps with brightly colored tape so they are more visible.
- Insert safety plugs into unused electrical outlets and consider safety latches on cabinet doors.
- Clear away unused items and remove small rugs, electrical cords, and other items the person may trip over.
- Make sure all rooms and outdoor areas the person visits have good lighting.
- Remove curtains and rugs with busy patterns that may confuse the person.
- Remove or lock up cleaning and household products, such as paint thinner and matches.