My Father Has Dementia What Do I Do

Dementia In Elderly Parents: Find Hope For Memory Care At Commonwise

Knowing how to tell if a parent has dementia can give you the confidence to approach the symptoms with strength and knowledge. If youve been saying, I think my mother has dementia what should I do? look for these tell-tale signs:

• Unexplained memory loss
• Confusion with time or place
• Difficulty following a set of steps
• Inability to perform complex tasks
• Misplacing things

Consider When And How You Might Dial Back On Usual Medical Care

As you may have noticed, usual medical care tends to be quite oriented towards addressing the goal of helping people live as long as possible. This is done by intervening when people are acutely ill, and by using the emergency room, hospitalization, or even intensive care, in order to minimize the chance of a person dying. It also means providing chronic medical care and preventive care, again with a key goal being to minimize mortality risk.

This kind of care may sound good to you its what most of us expect from our modern medical system. But in fact, its worth rethinking when it comes to an older person declining from dementia.

Why? Because when people are declining from dementia or if they otherwise have limited life-expectancy usual medical care becomes less likely to help them live longer, or better. It also becomes more likely to cause confusion, distress, and medical complications.

Furthermore, usual medical care can crowd out, or directly conflict, with approaches that help people with dementia maintain the best possible quality of life and function. When given the opportunity, most families of people with moderate and advanced dementia eventually decide to prioritize the goals of well being and function helping a loved one be comfortable, out of pain, and able to enjoy companionship and the small pleasures of everyday life to the best of their ability over the goal of extended lifespan whatever the cost.

We Thought My Dad Would Enjoy Socializing

My brother, who lived close to my parents during this early stage, says, The most telling sign of early stage dementia, for me, was Dads inability to mingle in groups. My takeaway is recognizing that no matter how hard it is on a child to cope with a parent with dementia, the parent with dementia is coping, too.

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Life At Our Communities

Leisure Care communities find creative ways to stay social while social distancing.

Sure, things have changed and while our community events may look different, our team is dedicated to bringing Five-Star Fun every day. We could tell you all about how our team became more creative than ever in engaging residents but wed rather show you.

How To Talk To A Parent With Dementia

Watching your parents or loved ones age over time with Alzheimers or other mental health disorders can be upsetting and difficult to accept. We know how scary and overwhelming it must be when somebody close to you is diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimers. It feels like receiving a death sentence for a terminal disease. The mere thought of your loved one slowly slipping away from you can be unbearable. It even becomes a struggle on how to talk to a parent with dementia, especially when the disease was detected in the later stages. You get frustrated over how they try to speak their mind but struggle to find the right words youre as confused as they are. Therell be times that talking seems no longer possible and this easily gets you discouraged.

Despite their condition, our parents need all the love, attention and care during this tough time. So, its crucial for family members to be the patients pillar of support and strength from the onset of dementia until its final stages. Preparing how to deal with dementia and how to talk to patients suffering from this dreaded disease is essential. It helps us foster connection and not further strain any relationships.

First, lets dive in deeper with the stages of dementia and their signs or symptoms.

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Your Trusted Advisors In Senior Living

Making the decision to move into senior living begins with many questions and uncertainty. From the decision to move, to knowing its time, the journey is fraught with important, emotional decisions. We are living in an unprecedented time where the future seems uncertain, and our way of life is changing fast. Now, more than ever, you need senior living you can trust.

Leisure Care has nearly 50 years of experience providing exceptional senior living, thats why weve put together these extensive resources to help you navigate the best option for you or your loved one. For more specific questions about our enhanced protocols visit our communications page or connect with a trusted advisor by contacting the community nearest you.

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What Can You Do When Your Aging Parent Has Dementia

Sometimes, you hear a diagnosis that hits you hard. A doctor says your aging loved one has dementia.

Sometimes, you just know something is wrong, it’s not getting better, and the only thing doctors say is “memory loss” or “mild cognitive impairment” . Does it matter what they call it?

Not much.

What does matter is that you don’t get sucked into denial and pretend that everything is going to be the same from now on.

Unfortunately, we don’t get a course in school telling us what to do and how to be helpful when an aging parent develops dementia. We may not even be clear about what the word means. A startling reality is that by the time a person is 85 years of age, the odds of developing Alzheimer’s Disease, presenting as dementia, are about one in two.

Dementia is a symptom of brain disease, often Alzheimer’s Disease. We don’t have a cure and we don’t know the cause. We have good ideas about how to prevent it, but it’s too late for prevention when your aging loved one already has significant problems with memory loss. There is no medication that changes the overall course of the disease, though some medications provide temporary improvement in short term memory.

I was having lunch with a friend whose Mom has dementia. My friend asked, “What can I do for my Mom? She lives so far away. My sister is taking care of her. My Mom is difficult. I feel useless.”

If you want to “do something”, develop a clear idea about what that means. You do need a plan. Here are some suggestions:

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My Dad Has Dementia What Do I Do

While there is no perfect memory loss remedy, there are several things that you can do to prevent it. First of all, exercising regularly can help keep your lungs in good shape. People who get regular exercise have better memories, and a regular exercise program can reduce stress. Additionally, exercising can help prevent memory loss by keeping your mind active. Here are some of the best ways to make your brain healthier and keep your mind sharp. Read on to learn more. My Dad Has Dementia What Do I Do

Dealing With A Parent Who Denies Dementia Symptoms

Is Dad or Mom having difficulty remembering appointments or names? Or getting lost coming home from the grocery store? You may notice it is becoming more difficult to have a conversation as your parent becomes confused and cant find the words to finish a sentence.

The signs of dementia are obvious to you, but when you mention the possibility to your parent, they deny the dementia symptoms and refuse to get help. What can you do?

Its important to understand the two main reasons why a parent would deny dementia symptoms:

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Does My Mom Have Dementia Quiz Them

Early signs of dementia are often overlooked. Ask strategic questions to help you spot concerning patterns in a parents behavior early on:

• Are they constantly misplacing everyday items?
• Do they avoid social interactions?
• Are they exhibiting sudden mood swings?

Also, keep an eye out for these dementia warning signsand make note of significant changes. Your observations can help a doctor determine if further cognitive or medical testing is needed.

Why Canadians Are Some Of The Healthiest People In The World

I speak from experience. Once we were able to get my in-laws treated with proper medical supervision, their lives and ours improved immensely. In another situation, my mother’s apparent memory loss turned out to be a hearing problem. With hearing aids, her “dementia” completely disappeared.

Do you have a question about dementia, or would you like to share an experience that could help others? Please share in the comments below.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the authorâs knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

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Explore Resources And Care Options

Theres no such thing as being too prepared. Even if needing additional support seems like its a long way off, someone turning age 65 today has almost a 70% chance of needing some type of long-term care services in their remaining years.

Understanding care options can help ensure your parent gets the care they need and may minimize future stress for you. Should your loved one be diagnosed with dementia, consider reaching out to a Care Advisor for free advice on how to plan for home care, which can help a senior age at home as safely as possible. You may also find helpful tips and useful advice on the AgingCare online support group for caregivers.

Check Existing And New Medication Interactions

Its important to be aware of new medications prescribed by the doctor to your loved one. Ask their physician and pharmacist to make sure that it wont create any adverse reaction when taken with their other prescription drugs. According to the Alzheimers Association, medication interactions may cause negative side effects and may result in aggressive behaviors.

Also Check: What Stage Of Dementia Is Paranoia

Maintain Healthy Lifestyle Habits

In addition to scheduling in time for yourself, youll also want to maintain healthy lifestyle habits.

Some ways to keep your health a priority include:

• Eating healthy meals and snacks
• Exercising regularly
• Attending medical and dental appointments
• Engaging in social activities

Its easy to neglect your own health when youre caring for someone else, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle is necessary when involved in dementia elderly care.

Stage : Moderate Dementia

Patients in stage 5 need some assistance in order to carry out their daily lives. The main sign for stage 5 dementia is the inability to remember major details such as the name of a close family member or a home address. Patients may become disoriented about the time and place, have trouble making decisions, and forget basic information about themselves, such as a telephone number or address.

While moderate dementia can interfere with basic functioning, patients at this stage do not need assistance with basic functions such as using the bathroom or eating. Patients also still have the ability to remember their own names and generally the names of spouses and children.

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Encourage Your Parent To Go For A Full Medical Check

Dementia is a complex illness whose cause remains unknown. The term itself refers to a group of symptoms that impact a persons memory negatively. In some cases, one might confuse it for another condition including head trauma, delirium, depression, hormonal disruption, and kidney diseases. Encourage your parent to go for a full medical check-up so that you can ascertain whether what you think your parent has is what they have. This check-up is also important if your parent has this illness. More specifically, it will determine which stage of dementia that your parent is experiencing. Remember, dementia has seven stages according to most medical experts. Determining which one your parent is in would help you plan for his care. For example, you can hire a home care expert immediately if he is at an advanced stage of the disease.

Other Things That You Can Do

Keep an updated list of the medications that your parent is taking. Ensure that his medical records are available for perusal by health professionals when necessary. Remember, dementia research is ongoing. Those records would help scientists determine your parents suitability for enlistment into specific trials or his participation in emerging therapies. You also need to change the setup of your home so that you can make it friendly to people living with dementia. For example, remove as many objects and bumps on your floor as possible. Remember, people with dementia have a problem with spatial relationships. Therefore, falls will be common if your floor has too many obstacles. You also need to keep hazardous material away as they might use it for something else having forgotten how dangerous the material is. Install easy to read clocks, keep noise levels down, and ensure that the lighting is adequate and as natural as possible.

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Make Sure Your Parent Has Essential Legal Documents

As my mom was showing signs of memory loss, the first thing I did was suggest that she meet with an attorney to update her estate planning documents. I knew this needed to happen quickly because you must be mentally competent to sign documents such as a will, power of attorney and living will.

• A will or living trust spells out who gets your assets when you die. A living trust also can be used to transfer assets while you are living, which can be a useful tool in long-term care planning.
• A power of attorneydocument allows you to name an agent or agents to make financial decisions and transactions for you if you cannot. If your parent names his or her spouse as POA, itâs important to name an alternate POA â such as you, the child â in case something happens to the spouse.
• A living will or advance health care directive allows you to spell out what sort of end-of-life medical care you would or would not want and to name someone to make health care decisions for you if you canât.

Itâs especially important for your parent to have the latter two documents in place before the middle and late stages of Alzheimerâs. At that point, someone will need to be making financial and health care decisions for your parent. If a power of attorney and health care proxy havenât been named and your parent is no longer competent, you or your parentâs caregiver will need to go through what can be a lengthy and expensive court process to be named conservator or guardian.

Stage : Mild Dementia

At this stage, individuals may start to become socially withdrawn and show changes in personality and mood. Denial of symptoms as a defense mechanism is commonly seen in stage 4. Behaviors to look for include:

• Difficulty remembering things about one’s personal history
• Difficulty recognizing faces and people

In stage 4 dementia, individuals have no trouble recognizing familiar faces or traveling to familiar locations. However, patients in this stage will often avoid challenging situations in order to hide symptoms or prevent stress or anxiety.

Also Check: How Long Do You Survive With Dementia

Angry Behavior In People With Dementia

When someone with dementia gets angry, they may:

• Raise their voice
• Display combative behavior such as hitting, kicking, or pushing
• Yell and scream
• Use foul language

Sometimes, there are warning signs. The person may raise their voice, scowl, or swing their arm at empty space.

Other times, you may not see it coming. This “no-warning” anger can be hard to cope with because it is unpredictable.

Anger and aggression are most likely to develop in the middle stages of dementia. At the same time, there may be other challenging behaviors like wandering, hoarding, and obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

Dealing With Complex Emotions

• Find a therapist to help with dementia

Witnessing dementia in a parent is one of the hardest things we face as adults. We see our former caretakers become dependent and disabled, often over a long period of time. Even in the early stages of disease, we confront the vulnerability of someone who at one time we viewed as strong and powerful. The emotional consequences for adult children can seem endless and overwhelming.

Whether we are a direct caregiver or not, there is constant worry and preoccupation. When will mom get worse? Is dad yelling at the nursing aides again? When should we think about memory care? Additionally, one of the most unique aspects of human relationships is that we hold them in mind, and assume they are thinking of us as well. When a parent starts to forget, one of the things we may wonder is how much longer we will remain on their minds. After all, parents are supposed to worry about us, not the other way around.

Some of the hardest things for adult children managing dementia involve balancing worry and the realization that roles have changed. How people cope with these realities depends, in part, on the history of your relationship with your parent.

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