When Someone Has Just Moved Into A Dementia Community
- During the first two weeks, visit often and stay as long as you want.
- If the facility has a policy of not allowing visitors for the first two weeks during the adjustment period, consider whether this is the right facility for you.
Do You Want To Tell Dementia Patients The Truth
There is no right answer to this question. It depends on the situation. Moving a parent with dementia to assisted living can already be difficult enough and require some dancing around the truth.
Some families are not comfortable with outright lying, so they use some workaround strategies. For many people, this is an ethical question, as some people deserve to know what their situation is. Some things to think about as you think about this issue:
Enroll In Medical Alert Programs
Safety becomes more of a concern as dementia progresses. For peace of mind, consider enrolling in programs that can improve or monitor the safety of people with dementia. Many programs offer medical ID jewelry or 24-hour assistance if a loved one with dementia wanders off or becomes lost. If additional assistance is needed, medical alert services can help by checking in on loved ones and notifying caregivers if there is no response.
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Working With Hospital Staff
Remember that not everyone in the hospital knows the same basic facts about memory loss, Alzheimers disease, and related dementias. You may need to help teach hospital staff what approach works best with the person with Alzheimers, what distresses or upsets him or her, and ways to reduce this distress.
You can help the staff by providing them with a personal information sheet that includes the persons normal routine, how he or she prefers to be addressed , personal habits, likes and dislikes, possible behaviors , and nonverbal signs of pain or discomfort.
Help staff understand what the persons baseline is to help differentiate between dementia and acute confusion or delirium.
You should:
For more information on dealing with dementia and hospitalization, see the University of California, San Francisco, Memory and Aging Centers Tips for Hospitalization.
Before A Planned Hospital Stay
With Alzheimers disease and related dementias, it is wise to accept that hospitalization is a when and not an if event. Due to the nature of the disease, it is very probable that, at some point, the person you are caring for will be hospitalized. Keep in mind that hospitals are not typically well-designed for patients with dementia. Preparation can make all the difference. Here are some tips.
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Psych Yourself Up To Be A Dementia Caregiver
In a randomized trial of 119 caregivers, Johns Hopkins MIND at Home researchers found the most upbeat and positive dementia caregivers tended not to hesitate on interventions. Instead, they jumped right in with environmental modifications, communication techniques and other needed interventions. Four months later, the caregivers were fully engaged and seeing positive changes in their loved ones behavior.
Responding When A Person With Dementia Wants To Go Home
People with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia will often say they want to “go home.” Family members and caregiving staff in nursing homes and assisted living facilities hear this question often. It can be hard to know the best way to answer it.
This article offers some suggestions for how to respond when a person with Alzheimer’s disease says they want to go home.
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Why Would Seniors With Dementia Want To Go Home
Often, the mid and latestages of dementia exhibit challenging behaviors in our elderly loved ones. Thefear, anger, sadness, confusion, and paranoia that dementia patients experiencecan result in violent and aggressive actions.
Learn more about thereasons that may make the elderly with dementia express their desire to gohome.
Mobility Issues Frequently Happen
Patients with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease have significantly reduced mobility as they progress. Both the patient and their caregiver are in grave danger.
Bathing, toileting, dressing, and other everyday tasks all include risks, but a facility is significantly better equipped to handle all of them securely. They have the necessary equipment, training, and personnel to help residents avoid accidents.
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How To Cope With Common Changes In Behaviour
Although changes in behaviour can be difficult to deal with, it can help to work out if there are any triggers.
For example:
- Do some behaviours happen at a certain time of day?
- Is the person finding the home too noisy or cluttered?
- Do these changes happen when a person is being asked to do something they may not want to do?
Keeping a diary for 1 to 2 weeks can help identify these triggers.
If the change in behaviour comes on suddenly, the cause may be a health problem. The person may be in pain or discomfort from constipation or an infection.
Ask a GP for an assessment to rule out or treat any underlying cause.
Keeping an active social life, regular exercise, and continuing activities the person enjoys, or finding new ones, can help to reduce behaviours that are out of character.
Read more about activities for dementia.
Other things that can help include:
- providing reassurance
- activities that give pleasure and confidence, like listening to music or dancing
- therapies, such as animal-assisted therapy, music therapy, and massage
Remember also that it’s not easy being the person supporting or caring for a person with behaviour changes. If you’re finding things difficult, ask for support from a GP.
How To Deal With Sundowning
Watching a loved one becoming irritated, upset, hyperactive or demonstrate other behavioural problems can be distressing, but its important to remember that they are not in control of their actions. There are also lots of things you can try to minimise sundowning symptoms.
Every person with dementia is unique, and it may take a while to find out what works best for your loved one. Keeping a detailed diary of your loved ones behaviour can be a useful way of identifying triggers and managing symptoms.
Maintain a positive routine
The most important thing to do is to ensure that your loved one has a routine tailored around sundowning behaviour to eliminate it as far as possible.
To this end, it is helpful to draw up a timetable or schedule, ensuring that busy activities and outings are arranged for the morning when your loved one is feeling at their best. Once you have a routine in place, its essential to stick to it.
During the afternoon, try to engage your loved one in calming activities that dont require too much thought. The aim is to undertake simple and engaging activities at this time, ones that arent too stimulating. Make sure that any clutter is tidied away, as this can cause aggravation later in the day.
Stay calm
Raising your voice or becoming angry will only worsen the situation, so try to remain calm, no matter what the provocation. Speak in clear sentences, dont try to rationalise with them and keep reassuring them that everything is ok.
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How Dementia Skews A Seniors Perception Of Time And Place
Its fairly well accepted by dementia experts that the home most elders wish to return to is their childhood home. In the later stages of Alzheimers disease, for instance, it is thought that a senior may tap into remaining memories from long ago and revert to a younger period in their minds. The passage of time becomes confusing and overwhelming, so they seem to crave the familiarity of their family home or call out for long-deceased family members and friends as a source of comfort.
Remember that not every case of dementia is the same. My parents each had different forms of cognitive impairment, but fortunately, they never asked me to go home. However, since I was a daily visitor at the nursing home where they both resided, I did hear this plea from many other residents. I didnt even know some of the people, but it was upsetting nonetheless. Of course, most of these people had Alzheimers disease.
Where Is Home Now
If you are caring for your loved one in your home and busting your butt to make sure they are safe and healthy, it can feel like a real slap in the face when they don’t want to live with you.
Or maybe they are stuck in a memory care home or senior living complex and want to come home to be with you. The guilt you feel getting those pleading words is almost unbearable.
But what we need to remember is that home to people with dementia is not the same thing as home is to us. Home to us is where we physically live now, home to them is a place in their mind where they were happy and secure.
You don’t need to feel guilty that you are depriving them of home happiness because there is no physical home that they are wanting to run away to. Rather they want to have that feeling of home again.
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How To Respond To I Want To Go Home
Address the emotion behind their words. When responding to their request, its best to focus your response on providing comfort and reassurance. Listen for what they are feeling behind their request – do you think they are anxious? Afraid? Confused? As dementia progresses, people are less and less able to put their feelings into words, and how they feel tends to come out in behavior, including repetitive questions and statements, instead.
Approach them in a calm and soothing manner and validate and respond to the emotion instead. If you stay calm, it is more likely they will start calming down.
Put their feelings into words by saying something like You must be feeling worried or Its hard that this place is so unfamiliar or I can understand if youre feeling sad right now.
And then do whatever you can to offer comfort. If they like hugs or holding hands or sitting close or having their arm or back rubbed, do that. Give them a blanket or other comforting object.
Join them in their reality. Trying to use logic and reasoning to get them to understand their situation or to convince them of a reality that is not their own will likely only make them more upset. Dont say things like But you *are* home, dad or This is your home now.
Again, validate that you hear their desire by simply saying I know you want to go home, or I wish you could go home too. If they feel heard and understood, they are more likely to be able to calm down.
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When Should Someone With Dementia Go Into A Care Home
When you, a relative or a loved one develops dementia, it can be a distressing and troubling time for everyone involved. Unfortunately dementia is a condition that steadily worsens over time, with no current cure.
The best thing to do to those living with dementia is to keep them healthy, happy and safe. Specialist dementia care homes offer round-the-clock care and support, including help with washing and mealtimes.
If you’re unsure what type of care you need, here we share some common signs that someone with dementia may require additional support, as well as advice on how to make the transition as easy as possible into a care home.
Looking for dementia care?
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Handling A Seniors Pleas To Go Home
Members of the AgingCare Caregiver Forum often ask how to handle these requests to go home. Many people initially take this desire at face value, especially from loved ones who are living in long-term care facilities. But, its important to understand that giving in to these appeals is not guaranteed to be successful.
Many families struggle with the decision to move their loved ones out of senior living and in with them, but this rarely pans out. Although the move makes sense logically, elders in the middle and late stages of dementia do not handle change well. Its probable this person would become agitated and disoriented by yet another move and would still not consider it to be home. Unfortunately, this realization doesnt make navigating such a heartbreaking routine any easier.
Caregivers and staff can gently remind a senior, This is your home, each time their anxiety increases. Thats okay, but it may not help much. If the person gets upset by hearing this, then drop it. Correcting or arguing with them will only make the situation worse. This is when you need to take a deep breath and accept that you will continually hear this plea. Expect it. Absorb it. Plan ahead. Then, begin using the distraction and redirection routine.
Comfort And Reassure Your Loved Ones To Validate Their Needs
In most cases, our olderadults say, I wish to go home to mean that theyre anxious, tense, scared andthat they need extra care and comfort.
The best way you canhandle the situation is by giving a calm response and in a positive manner. Bydoing so, youll be validating your loved ones feelings and needs. This will,in turn, make them feel more understood and comforted.
Responding to your olderadult with a soothing, relaxed, and calm manner helps them calm down as well.If your loved ones like hugs, give it to them. Others may feel good when givengentle strokes or touches on their shoulder or arm. Others will feel comfortedand supported if you sit down with them.
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Kind Calming Ways To Respond To I Want To Go Home
These suggestions will put you on the right track, but its a good idea to get creative and come up with responses that are tailored for your older adults history, personality, and preferences.
1. Reassure and comfort to validate their needsSometimes saying I want to go home is how your older adult tells you theyre tense, anxious, scared, or in need of extra comfort.
Approach your older adult with a calm, soothing, and relaxed manner. If you remain calm, it often helps them calm down too.
If they like hugs, this is a good time for one. Others may prefer gentle touching or stroking on their arm or shoulder or simply having you sit with them.
Another way of giving extra comfort and reassurance is to give them a soothing blanket, therapy doll, or stuffed animal.
2. Avoid reasoning and explanationsTrying to use reason and logic isnt recommended when someone has a brain disease. It will only make them more insistent, agitated, and upset.
Dont try to explain that theyre in their own home, assisted living is now their home, or they moved in with you 3 years ago.
They wont be able to process that information and will feel like youre not listening, you dont care, or that youre stopping them from doing something thats important to them.
3. Validate, redirect, and distractBeing able to redirect and distract is an effective dementia care technique. Its a skill that improves with practice, so dont feel discouraged if the first few attempts dont work perfectly.
What Should You Keep In Mind While You Respond
Communicating with someone who has dementia is like solving a puzzle. You may have already had experience trying to communicate with your parent with dementia when they refuse help or reminding them gently about other small things.
Couch your communication in certain foundational principles until you know you have hit upon the most effective communication strategies.
As time goes on and your loved one gets worse, you may need to be flexible and try other communication methods. Lets look at some guidelines as you respond to the request to go home.
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Choosing The Right Care Home For Someone With Dementia
There are plenty of wonderful care homes in the UK that can support people with dementia, so youre really spoilt for choice! The first thing youll need to do is request a needs assessment from your local authority.
This will analyse your loved ones condition and provide recommendations on the type and level of care they need, as well as conducting a financial assessment to look at care home costs and funding options.
When your loved one has been assessed, most care homes will visit your relative either at home or in hospital or invite them to the home for a visit if possible.
While at the home, talk to the staff, the care home manager and other residents to get a feel for the home. What are the facilities like? Are there activities especially for those with dementia? Will your loved one be able to decorate their own room to make it more familiar?
Above all, it should be left to your loved one to choose the home that feels right for them, but let them know that you are there to provide support and advice along the way.