Where They Are Set In Time
My Mother In Law seems pretty set in time about 8 years ago when we lived in Colorado. She talks about going downstairs to her room, which is what the setup was there.
It takes a LOT of effort on all our parts to not continually remind her that we live in Florida now! You would think after a while we would get over it, but it is funny how much you want to remind them of how the world really is!
Your loved one might pass through phases of their past as to what Home is for them.
Why Someone With Dementia Asks To Go Home
Alzheimers and dementia damage the brain and cause a person to experience the world in different ways.
So, what we hear as I want to go home is often a request for comfort rather than literally asking to go somewhere.
The kindest thing to do is to meet them where they are, focus on comfort and reassurance, and respond to the emotions behind their request.
The goal is to reduce your older adults anxiety or fear so they can let go of the idea.
Helping them to calm down also gives you a chance to check ifdiscomfort, pain, or a physical need is causing this behavior.
Dementia Behavior: Sleep Problems
While quality sleep tends to decrease as you age, people who have dementia experience more sleep disturbances than other seniors. In fact, sleep problems affect as many as a third of seniors with dementia.
Common sleep issues may include:
- Difficulty getting and staying asleep
- Agitation and restlessness when trying to sleep
- Thinking its daytime when its night, going as far as getting up, getting dressed and wanting to start the day, Hashmi says
Sleep disturbances are hard on patients and caregivers alike, Hashmi says. Its physically and mentally exhausting to be up night after night.
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Remember: Your Needs As A Caregiver Matter Too
Dealing with dementia behaviors can quickly wear out a caregiver or family member, causing caregiver burnout.
If your loved ones dementia behaviors have progressed to the point where you cannot manage them alone, help is available. Senior care options like home care or memory care can help relieve some of the caregiving burden while also helping to keep your loved one safe.
If you are feeling resentment, anxiety, or depression, seek help. A caregiver support group, counselor, friend, or family member can offer camaraderie and advice.
Other families, other caregivers, are going through the same thing, Hashmi says. They have a lot of common challenges and common solutions to share. And often those are the most effective, because theyre going through exactly the same process.
Why An Adult Wants To Go Home
Dementias such as Alzheimers disease cause the individual to lose their ability to communicate or find the right words to get their point across. They may feel compelled to return home because they are missing something, are lonely, or have a variety of other concerns. Here are some things your aging parent may be trying to say:
- Theyre in pain. If your loved one is hurting, its natural for them to want to go home where they feel safe and comfortable.
- Theyre lonely or sad. Dementia is a disease that slowly causes the individual to become disconnected and isolated from others. Their world slowly becomes smaller, and they forget faces and names.
- Theyre confused. It is possible that your loved one simply doesnt know where home is because they dont remember. They may think theyre decades younger than they are and that home is the place where they lived many years ago.
- They have a particular need that isnt being met. If your aging parent is tired, thirsty, hungry or needs to use the bathroom, they may want to go home. Home is a comfortable environment where they know where everything is and what is expected.
- Theyre bored. Even as your loved ones abilities go away, they still have the need for meaningful, stimulating and interesting days. If they dont have enough to do, they may want to go home where they know they belong.
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During The Hospital Stay
While the person with dementia is in the hospital:
If anxiety or agitation occurs, try the following:
- Remove personal clothes from sight they may remind the person of getting dressed and going home.
- Post reminders or cues, like a sign labeling the bathroom door, if this comforts the person.
- Turn off the television, telephone ringer, and intercom. Minimize background noise to prevent overstimulation.
- Talk in a calm voice and offer reassurance. Repeat answers to questions when needed.
- Provide a comforting touch or distract the person with offers of snacks and beverages.
- Consider unexpressed pain . Assume the person has pain if the condition or procedure is normally associated with pain. Ask for pain evaluation and treatment every 4 hoursespecially if the person has labored breathing, loud moaning, crying or grimacing, or if you are unable to console or distract him or her.
- Listen to soothing music or try comforting rituals, such as reading, praying, singing, or reminiscing.
- Slow down try not to rush the person.
- Avoid talking about subjects or events that may upset the person.
Hospital Visits During Covid
Due to COVID-19, hospitals continue to update appointment and visitor policies to comply with state department of health guidelines to protect the health and safety of patients, visitors and employees. For example, visitors may be required to wear a face mask or cloth face covering. Or, they may not be allowed to accompany patients in clinics, hospital departments or the emergency room, with exceptions in certain cases. Before you plan a visit, call or check the hospitals website for information on their policies. Get the latest public health information on the coronavirus at coronavirus.gov.
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Following A Partner Or Carer Around
Dementia makes people feel insecure and anxious. They may “shadow” their partner or carer as they need constant reassurance they’re not alone and they’re safe.
They may also ask for people who died many years ago, or ask to go home without realising they’re in their own home.
Try to:
- have the person with you if you’re doing chores such as ironing or cooking
- reassure them that they’re safe and secure if they’re asking to go home
- avoid telling them someone died years ago and talk to them about that period in their life instead
Repeating The Same Question Or Activity
Repeating the same question or activity may be a result of memory loss where the person cannot remember what they’ve said or done.
It can be frustrating for the carer, but it’s important to remember that the person is not being deliberately difficult.
Try to:
- be tactful and patient
- help the person find the answer themselves, for example, if they keep asking the time, buy an easy-to-read clock and keep it in a visible place
- look for any underlying theme, such as the person believing they’re lost, and offer reassurance
- offer general reassurance, for example, that they do not need to worry about that appointment as all the arrangements are in hand
- encourage someone to talk about something they like talking about, for example, a period of time or an event they enjoyed
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Tips For Managing Dementia Wandering
The No. 1 priority is to keep your loved one safe, Hashmi says. He suggests the following actions:
- Secure all doors. Be especially vigilant about doors that lead outside.
- Use technology. Tracking devices and surveillance systems are widely available and affordable.
- Enlist a team. Neighborhood watch groups and local police are often happy to help keep an eye out for your loved one.
What Are Some Other Typical Dementia Behaviors
In addition to aggression, confusion, sleep problems and wandering, symptoms of dementia can also include delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, depression, apathy and sexual inappropriateness. And, behavioral dementia symptoms tend to occur more frequently as the dementia progresses.
Up to 90% of patients have one or more of these symptoms during the course of their disease, studies show. It is important to discuss all dementia symptoms with your loved ones physician to rule out or treat any medical conditions that could be causing the behavior.
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Distract With Something Pleasurable
If youve tried telling the truth and found your loved one became even more irate, saying for example, But Ive changed my mind about moving! I want to go home! Its probably wisest to give up gracefully getting locked into arguments about whose decision it was to move and why they cant go home now, isnt helpful to either of you. Instead, try suggesting you do something enjoyable together, such as going for a walk, eating a cream cake, or listening to some favourite music. Once theyre absorbed in a pleasurable activity, theres a good chance theyll feel calmer and stop asking that question for a while, at least.
The Seven Stages Of Dementia
One of the most difficult things to hear about dementia is that, in most cases, dementia is irreversible and incurable. However, with an early diagnosis and proper care, the progression of some forms of dementia can be managed and slowed down. The cognitive decline that accompanies dementia conditions does not happen all at once – the progression of dementia can be divided into seven distinct, identifiable stages.
Learning about the stages of dementia can help with identifying signs and symptoms early on, as well as assisting sufferers and caretakers in knowing what to expect in further stages. The earlier dementia is diagnosed, the sooner treatment can start.
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Stage : Moderate Dementia
Patients in stage 5 need some assistance in order to carry out their daily lives. The main sign for stage 5 dementia is the inability to remember major details such as the name of a close family member or a home address. Patients may become disoriented about the time and place, have trouble making decisions, and forget basic information about themselves, such as a telephone number or address.
While moderate dementia can interfere with basic functioning, patients at this stage do not need assistance with basic functions such as using the bathroom or eating. Patients also still have the ability to remember their own names and generally the names of spouses and children.
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Establish Whether Or Not They Are Feeling Unhappy Or Lonely
A person with dementia may want to ‘go home’ because of feelings of anxiety, insecurity, depression or fear.
Is the person with dementia happy or unhappy now? If they are unhappy, it may be possible to discover why. If they cannot tell you why, perhaps a member of the staff or another resident knows why.
Like other people, someone with dementia may act out of character to the people closest to them as a result of a bad mood or bad day.
Does the person with dementia keep talking about going home when people are not visiting them in the care home? Does he or she seem to have settled otherwise? The staff in the home may know.
What It Means When A Person With Dementia Says I Want To Go Home
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Your loved one may keepon saying, I want to go back home,or This isnt my home. Dementia patients are always confused, and they maywant to leave their own homes and go to their homes.
Remember that dementiacauses adverse and negative impacts on the patients cognitive functioning.This is what causes memory loss and confusion.
Besides, theres a psychological component that drivesdementia patients towards wanting to go home. Often, your loved one is tryingto go back to a place where he has more control over his life.
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First Ask Yourself: Why Is This Behavior Happening Try Putting Yourself In Their Shoes
Actions that we observe in people living with dementia may be in response to something going on around them that is difficult for them to handle. There are a number of reasons why a person with dementia may leave the home. Youll need to rely on what you know about the person and their past and present habits to try to figure out a cause.