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Caring For Spouse With Dementia

The Caregiver Stress Assessment

Teepa Snow: Caring for Someone Who Has Dementia

Caring for a spouse with dementia or Alzheimers can strain even the most thoughtful and patient person to their breaking point and its only natural to feel tired, angry, frustrated, and sad. The danger is becoming so focused on caring for your spouse that you dont even realize that your own health is suffering. The caregiver stress assessment will help you determine if your own health may be at risk.

Review the following questions and answer with either often, sometimes, or never.

  • Do you have difficulty falling asleep at night?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed or constantly worried?
  • Do you find yourself becoming more easily angry or upset?
  • Have you had any recent health issues?
  • Have you gained or lost a large amount of weight?
  • Have you given up hobbies or activities you previously enjoyed?
  • Are you spending less time with others?
  • Are you feeling isolated and lonely?

If you answered sometimes or often you may want to consider assisted living.

Who Are You Searching For

AlzheimersNet is your comprehensive guide to memory care in Berryville, . Memory care facilities provide housing and care for older adults with Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia. Memory care empowers seniors who have memory loss to stay as active and engaged as possible, while living in a dignified, comfortable and supervised setting. Our local Senior Living Advisors are expert in dementia care in Berryville, and surrounding areas. After an initial assessment, your advisor will prepare a list of memory care facilities that most closely match your loved one’s unique imperatives for care and living preferences, as well as your family’s budget.

Memory Care Costs in Berryville,

Price varies widely depending on location, care required, size of the resident’s living space and the level of luxury at the community. The price of memory care in Berryville ranges from $ to $ per month, with an average cost of $.

Caregiving For A Spouse With Dementia

Caring for a loved one with dementia is a difficult, taxing, and stressful job. When our loved one is also your spouse, many feelings can arise as we lose our husband or wife to dementia. You might be accustomed to partnering with your spouse on activities or dividing household responsibilities, and now they are becoming dependent on you for everything.

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Keep Family Members Informed

This can be done in different ways. You can call and talk to people individually or you can write a family newsletter. Copy the letter and send it to different members of the family so you donât have to rewrite the same information to each one. Just remember, if you keep the lines of communication with your family and friends open, they will be able to understand more easily what you and your family member are going through. The better they understand, the more willing theyâll be to pitch in and help.

Caregiving isnât easy, and itâs important to make sure your aging family member does not take up all your energy. Make sure you find ways to pull together as a family and work together for everyoneâs benefit.

The Emotional Side Of Alzheimers Caregiving

How to Talk to your Spouse about their Dementia Diagnosis

When your significant other has Alzheimerâs, you may feel like your world has been turned upside down. Things you enjoyed doing together may no longer be possible, and the way you interact may change. You probably find yourself taking on new and unfamiliar responsibilities.

Caring for your partner may feel like a heavy burden. Research shows that feeling is likely to increase as their disease progresses.

You may feel helpless. You might also feel resentment toward your partner, followed by guilt for feeling that way. But experts say thatâs normal and to be expected.

In fact, itâs normal to feel a wide range of emotions on your caregiver journey. Not only are your feelings valid, but experts say itâs important to not ignore them.

Along with resentment and guilt, some common emotions for Alzheimerâs caregivers are ambivalence, sadness, boredom, crankiness, disgust, fear, frustration, grief, jealousy, embarrassment, loneliness, and tiredness.

Studies show these emotions may become more intense as your partnerâs symptoms increase and they become moodier or more aggressive or forget who you are. Symptoms like these can make caregiving tougher and make your relationship seem less satisfying.

But experts suggest reminding yourself about the stress youâre under. Take time to congratulate yourself on taking care of your partner.

Some of the most common emotions for Alzheimerâs caregivers and ways to cope with them include:

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Learn How To Identify What Your Spouse Needs And Respond Accordingly

Dementia disrupts communication in the brain. In the early stages of dementia, your spouse might have trouble conveying what he or she needs.

As dementia progresses, your spouses brain has trouble identifying what the body needs. This can cause a mismatch between what your spouse needs and how he or she acts. Your husband or wife might be hungry or in pain, for example, but may act out because he or she is unable to identify what is wrong.

The Economic Impact Of Dementia

The economic impact of dementia is profound. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention projects that by 2040, the US cost of treating Alzheimers disease alone is estimated to be a staggering $379 to $500 billion annually. These costs include the direct costs of social and medical care as well as care provided for by unpaid family care providers. It is very costly to create a secure scenario for those who have the disease. Although Alzheimers can now be detected 20 years before the onset of symptoms, there is no known cure for it or other forms of dementia. Research efforts to find a cure have been expensive without much reward, and as such many drug companies are halting their efforts to find a cure for economic reasons. Those who have dementia have a disability and dependence on their spouse and/or other loved ones, and a health care system that is woefully unprepared for the scale and cost of maintaining their lives. Some biomarkers that identify Alzheimers disease early on may accelerate the development of new therapies as the disease timeline progression is substantial, but it remains unknown which treatments will be most effective and at what point in the disease continuum.

Also Check: Does Mild Cognitive Impairment Lead To Dementia

Dont Forget The Children And Teens

With so much focus on the person who has dementia, sometimes younger family members donât get the attention they need, or the illness is not explained in a way they can understand.

Children often experience a wide range of emotions when a parent or grandparent has Alzheimerâs disease. Younger children may be fearful that they will get the disease or that they did something to cause it. Teenagers may become resentful if they must take on more responsibilities or feel embarrassed that their parent or grandparent is âdifferent.â College-bound children may be reluctant to leave home.

Reassure young children that they cannot âcatchâ the disease from you. Be straightforward about personality and behaviour changes. For example, the person with Alzheimerâs may forget things, such as their names, and say and do things that may embarrass them. Assure them that this is not their fault or intentional, but a result of the disease.

Find out what their emotional needs are and find ways to support them, such as meeting with a counsellor who specializes in children with a family member diagnosed with Alzheimerâs disease. School social workers and teachers can be notified about what the children may be experiencing and be given information about the disease. Encourage children and teens to attend support group meetings, and include them in counselling sessions.

Here are some examples that might help you cope with role changes within the family:

Staying Balanced While Caring For A Spouse With Dementia: Dont Stop Writing Your Own Story

Caregiver Training: Refusal to Bathe | UCLA Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care

One piece of advice stands out if you are caring for a spouse with dementia: Acknowledge and accept that you cant stay positive all of the time.

Remember that to believe that you can maintain constant positivity is to deny your basic human dimensions. You cant actually bypass your negative feelings, and if you try to, youre rejecting a part of yourself. You would only be doubling up on the loss and cause for grief: the memories that your partner no longer shares with you and, now, your own authentic experiences that deserve your compassion.

In this moment, make the choice to be present for the truth of your life, for the parts of you that can be awakened to the uncertain challenges of caregiving and to your own needs and your own vibrant life story. Being whole and successful as a caregiver for your spouse is not about staying unshakably positive its about staying in touch with and staying balanced in your own experience.

Also Check: Is Alzheimer’s Passed From Mother Or Father

Ten Tips For Communicating With A Person With Dementia

We arenât born knowing how to communicate with a person with dementiaâbut we can learn. Improving your communication skills will help make caregiving less stressful and will likely improve the quality of your relationship with your loved one. Good communication skills will also enhance your ability to handle the difficult behavior you may encounter as you care for a person with a dementing illness.

  • Set a positive mood for interaction. Your attitude and body language communicate your feelings and thoughts more strongly than your words do. Set a positive mood by speaking to your loved one in a pleasant and respectful manner. Use facial expressions, tone of voice, and physical touch to help convey your message and show your feelings of affection.
  • Get the personâs attention. Limit distractions and noiseâturn off the radio or TV, close the curtains or shut the door, or move to quieter surroundings. Before speaking, make sure you have her attention address her by name, identify yourself by name and relation, and use nonverbal cues and touch to help keep her focused. If she is seated, get down to her level and maintain eye contact.
  • Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart. Be patient in waiting for your loved oneâs reply. If she is struggling for an answer, itâs okay to suggest words. Watch for nonverbal cues and body language, and respond appropriately. Always strive to listen for the meaning and feelings that underlie the words.
  • Recognize That Your Spouses Behavior Is Not Intentional

    The brain changes associated with dementia may cause your spouse to feel anxious, lash out and even take on a new personality. While some of the things your spouse will say and do will be hurtful, it is important to understand that his or her behavior is not intentional broken communication lines cause your spouses brain to misinterpret and misunderstand events happening around them. The miscommunication within your spouses brain might lead him or her to think that a blowing curtain is actually a home invader, for example. Memory problems might cause him or her to momentarily forget who you are, so to them, you might really seem like a stranger who is out to get them.

    Also Check: Is Dementia A Psychiatric Or Neurological Disorder

    Tip 4 Take Time For Yourself

    Full-time caregiving can cause stress and lead to depression. If you are caring for a spouse with dementia or Alzheimers its important to have relationships, activities, and hobbies that you can enjoy solo apart from your spouse. Taking time for yourself and doing activities that are meaningful to you will help reduce stress, improve your health and allow you to manage the challenges of caregiving better.

    Treat Your Caregiving Like A New Job

    How to Talk to your Spouse about their Dementia Diagnosis

    Some caretakers find that caring for a loved one with dementia is like a full-time job. A lot of time, attention and life changes can be needed to ensure the loved ones safety.

    As with any job, plan by finding opportunities for short breaks. Talk with family members to see if they might be able to care for your loved one for the night. If that doesnt work, try researching other methods to avoid burnout.

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    Caring For Ones Wife With Dementiaat Home: Older Husbands Experiences With Managing Challenges Of Everyday Life

    • Encyclopedia of Death and the Human Experience2009
    • SAGE Research MethodsCase Peter Kay Chai Tay and more…SAGE Research Methods Cases
    • Robbyn R. Wacker and more…Community Resources for Older Adults: Programs and Services in an Era of Change2008
    • Encyclopedia of Applied Developmental Science2005
    • James W. Ellor and more…Encyclopedia of Death and the Human Experience2009

    Risks Of Dementia For Spouses

    A dementia spouse who needs substantial physical assistance can risk a fall or other injuries. The caregiver spouse can also become injured.

    The impact of dementia on spouses affects each spouse to different degrees. At some point, the spouse with dementia may be past the stage of understanding the consequences of situations where if a fall occurs, the consequences place both spouses at risk of physical harm.

    What do you have, then? Two spouses who are unable to remain in a home environment and who may require advanced care in a nursing home.

    If there are no children to offer support, the options for both spouses can be extremely limited. Making decisions under pressure or in a crisis is why obtaining a diagnosis, researching future care options, and having honest conversations are critical before health concerns worsen for the spouse with dementia and the spouse caregiver.

    Adult children can be helpful in these situations by being realistic about the support they can or cannot provide.

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    Honest And Grounded Positivity Moves Us Forward

    Sitting down to air out your feelings is also a good reminder that you are still writing your personal story. It can help give you clues about how you to better take care of your own needs and make choices for moving your story forward. After reflecting on the scope of your feelings at present, turn your paper over and begin writing your way forward, listing some of the things you can do for yourself now to maintain your well-being and sense of self.

    • Commit to regular time set aside for yourself, such as these writing exercises.
    • Proactively organize time with family and friends, who can help you to feel connection in ways you may be missing with your partner.
    • Get connected with a caregiver support group even if youre experiencing an excess of positive feelings, you still want to give yourself the resource you will need along this journey.
    • Explore some of the more progressive sides of the caregiving role, such as being an advocate for your partner and for yourself and for other caregivers.
    • Consider the adventurous potential in this new chapter as you get to know the new and unexpected aspects of your spouses life and personality.

    You may not be aware of the many supportive resources available for caregivers like you. At Institute on Aging, it is our mission to make those resources knownto support your sense of self during this challenging caregiving journey, so let us know how we can help.

    How To Support Someone With Dementia: 4 Tips For Caring For Your Spouse

    How to Talk to Someone With Dementia

    Women with husbands who develop dementia are often left thinking, My husband has dementia. How do I cope? It can be tough caring for your spouse, let alone knowing how to deal with someone with dementia.

    If you find yourself caring for an elderly spouse with dementia and arent sure what to do, youre in the right place.

    We desire that you never get to the point of thinking, My husband has dementia and I hate him. Instead, we want to provide you with the tools and resources necessary to care for your loved one without overwhelming stress and frustration.

    In this article, were sharing expert tips on living with someone with dementia well. Well also tell you how to get professional in-home help.

    Keep reading to learn all about how to cope with a spouse with dementia and how to get hands-on assistance when your spouse has dementia.

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    Expanding Areas Of Responsibility

    Half a year ago, we were arranging a party and that became troublesome. Then I understood that she was no longer able to cook. She no longer saw the big picture, making cooking a chaotic task. I helped her and bought the ingredients. When I put them on the table . . . to imagine what to do in her head was too difficult and she became distressed. Then, when she saw the ingredients . . . she was able to start cooking.

    It was a huge transition for me . . . you know . . . life has turned upside down in a way, when a spouse becomes ill. So . . . I have . . . I have not complained yet, I must say she does what she can, and we manage to keep our home clean and . . . we cooperate well. She does the dusting . . . and I do the floors and bathroom and so on . . . We have not considered hiring a house cleaner as of yet.

    At some point, we may both become so frail that receiving outside help may be a necessity. Then, there must be a variety of possibilities, of course. Now, I clean the bathroom. I guess it is not as nice as before . . . but it is adequate, and I feel this is the least I can do. Otherwise, she still does most the work . . . yes, it will be disheartening the day we have to ask for help.

    The burdens of everyday life . . . have become progressively heavier . . . More and more falls on me . . . All that we need to do . . . I must be involved in . . . And I have started to write much more. Write notes that I put on the kitchen table four-five days in advance.

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