Work On Developing The Skills Youll Need To Care For A Parent With Dementia
There is a long list of skills youre going to need if youre planning on caring for a parent with dementia. In a perfect world, youll already have all of these skills, which will make it easy for you to put them into practice.
But if you dont have these skills, youll need to work hard to develop them over time. Some of the skills that youll need are:
Its great to have all of these skills to some degree. But patience is, by far, the most important skill that youll need to have as far as dealing with dementia in a parent is concerned. If you arent able to be patient with your parent, youre going to have a long road ahead of you.
Stage : Fulltime Care
Eventually people who are experiencing dementia become so unable to choose their own activities or make sense of the world around them that they need to have someone present at all times in order to feel comfortable. To me, this is the greatest heartbreak of memory care facilities, because their residents are left alone for hours at a time. Even people who have anosognosia will eventually welcome the full-time presence of other people.
At DAWN, we know it is time for full-time care when we arrive and find someone whos only been alone for minutes wandering from room to room, unable to relax they have lost the ability to know what they want to do. These people will say, I just dont know what Im supposed to be doing when you arrive, and Do you have to go? when you get ready to leave. This will happen long before they become bedridden or unable to communicate.
At this last stage of dementia, we make sure that someone is always present. We are careful to continue the same schedule of daily activities so they continue to receive enough sensory and social stimulation to avoid sundowning or wandering. We maintain the same evening and bedtime routines so the sleeping habits weve helped them develop can be maintained for as long as possible.
Dont Neglect Your Own Needs
By always focusing so diligently on your loved ones needs throughout the progression of their dementia, its easy to fall into the trap of neglecting your own welfare. If youre not getting the physical and emotional support you need, you wont be able to provide the best level of care, and youre more likely to become overwhelmed and suffer burnout.
Plan for your own care. Visit your doctor for regular checkups and pay attention to the signs and symptoms of excessive stress. Its easy to abandon the people and activities you love when youre mired in caregiving, but you risk your health and peace of mind by doing so. Take time away from caregiving to maintain friendships, social contacts, and professional networks, and pursue the hobbies and interests that bring you joy.
Talk to someone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, clergy member, or therapist, about what youre going through. The simple act of talking face-to-face with someone who cares can be extremely catharticand a great stress reliever.
Stay active. Regular exercise not only keeps you fit, it releases endorphins that can really boost your mood. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days. If you cant get away for that long at once, break the time up into 10-minute sessions throughout the day.
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Do Offer Assurance Often
Many times, people with dementia may experience feelings of isolation, fear, loneliness or confusion. They may not be able to express this in the right way and thus may wander off or keep saying that they want to go back home, especially if they are in a senior living facility. This is not the time to shut them out. Its a good idea to assure them that they are safe and in a good place.
If you are close enough, provide a comforting hug every once in a while and remind them that they are in a place that has their best interest at heart. Where possible, engage in exercise or take a walk as even light physical activity may help to reduce agitation, restlessness and anxiety.
Managing Daily Tasks & Responsibilities
Unfortunately, along with all of the troubling behavior weve listed so far, dementia will also progress to a point where they can no longer manage daily tasks and will need assistance with everything from eating nutritious meals to getting dressed in the morning. Heres how you can help people with dementia manage day-to-day self-care and health and simultaneously promote a sense of control and independence.
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Managing Until Elderly Parents Cant Manage
I had many clients, women in particular, who were able to manage for a long time until their memory loss advanced to a point where living at home alone became unsafe or difficult. In these cases, a friend or someone close to themnot necessarily a family memberoften brought up the topic of memory loss and suggested seeing a doctor.
There may have also been other noticeable signs like getting lost when driving a car, forgetting to pay bills, and other things, like water flooding the home due to forgetting to turn off a faucet. The other challenge is that parents or spouses may not regularly see a doctor if they are healthy and active.
Do Make Sure That The Dementia Patient Gets Enough Rest Food And Water
Fatigue, hunger and thirst may cause combativeness. Ensure that the person with dementia is well fed, hydrates enough, and gets adequate sleep and rest. In line with this, they should also have enough bathroom breaks. Research also shows that it may help to reduce loud noises as well as clutter in the space where the patient spends most of his/her time, as both loud noises and clutter tend to over-stimulate people with dementia.
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The Stages Of Dementia From A Functional Perspective
People who are experiencing dementia/Alzheimers will progress through identifiable stages of dementia, regardless of the type of dementia they are experiencingif you look at dementia from the perspective of changes in functioning rather than as disease. When we change our perspective, the dementia path becomes clearer. And when we provide just enough care rather than force too many changes too quickly, care is more readily accepted and the person is safer.
Tips For Dealing With Parents With Dementia
When a person has a parent with dementia, they may find themselves taking on the role of a caregiver. Caring for a parent with dementia may be a comforting experience, but it may also bring challenges.
As their parents condition changes, so will a persons relationship and involvement. This changing relationship and new responsibilities can be an emotionally trying experience. Some people may find relief in having an explanation for their parents symptoms while also feeling grief, anger, or helplessness.
However, there are ways in which a person can seek help and adapt their behavior to support themselves and their parent.
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Learn More About Managing Diabetes
The effects of high blood sugar can be just as severe. Long-term complications of high blood sugar include heart disease, nerve pain, kidney disease, vision, dental, and skin conditions.
More on the topic of managing diabetes is on The Caring Generation Podcast Episode 16, Why is Patient Education and Engagement So Important. Listen to my interview with Dr. Mayer Davidson.
Both conditions cause problems with other body systems and organs. I like to say that the human body is a chemistry project that, when kept in balance, is positive, but when something happens, one thing causes another.
Benefits Of Smell And Aromatherapy
You may want to use some essential oils at home for some health benefits. According to a study, aromatherapy can help soothe the senses and calm the patient. The smell can help reduce aggression, agitation, and other psychotic symptoms in patients with dementia. Seniors enjoy deep sleep, have improved concentration, and reduced hallucinations.
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Dementia Behavior: Sleep Problems
While quality sleep tends to decrease as you age, people who have dementia experience more sleep disturbances than other seniors. In fact, sleep problems affect as many as a third of seniors with dementia.
Common sleep issues may include:
- Difficulty getting and staying asleep
- Agitation and restlessness when trying to sleep
- Thinking its daytime when its night, going as far as getting up, getting dressed and wanting to start the day, Hashmi says
Sleep disturbances are hard on patients and caregivers alike, Hashmi says. Its physically and mentally exhausting to be up night after night.
How To Handle Defiant Behavior In Aging Parents With Dementia
If youre caring for a parent with dementia, its nice to know that they are in a loving environment and that you can still spend time together and make memories. But caregiving can also be emotionally and physically draining, especially when their behavior changes and they become stubborn, defiant, or sometimes even aggressive. This can be scary and upsetting for any caregiver to handlelet alone if youre familybut youre not powerless. Having a number of strategies on hand to deploy whenever you need them gives you the means to better handle difficult situations and be more prepared in the future.
Dementia affects each person in a unique way and changes different parts of the brain at different points in the progression of the condition. Further, different types of dementia tend to have different symptoms. Researchers and doctors still dont know enough about how these diseases work to predict what will happen exactly.
If youre providing care for a parent, or another family member, you may be faced with a wide array of challenges. Resisting care and general stubbornness are two hallmarks of dementia. Familiar aspects of life like getting them to the doctor, gaining their cooperation or convincing them to bathe and brush their teeth can become a challenge.
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Read Creating Moments Of Joy By Jolene Brackey
One of the best books on dementia communication is Creating Moments of Joy by Jolene Brackey.
It features a variety of uplifting stories and inspiring techniques for managing Alzheimers and other types of dementia.
As Jolene puts so well herself:
We are not able to create a perfectly wonderful day with someone who has dementia, but it is absolutely attainable to create a perfectly wonderful moment a moment that puts a smile on their face, a twinkle in their eye, or triggers a memory.
Encouragingly, she goes on to say:
Five minutes later, they wont remember what you did or said, but the feeling you left them with will linger.
The book is available on Amazon and other stores if you want to find out more.
Creating Moments of Joy by Jolene Brackey Source:
Check Existing And New Medication Interactions
Its important to be aware of new medications prescribed by the doctor to your loved one. Ask their physician and pharmacist to make sure that it wont create any adverse reaction when taken with their other prescription drugs. According to the Alzheimers Association, medication interactions may cause negative side effects and may result in aggressive behaviors.
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Develop Helpful Daily Routines
Having general daily routines and activities can provide a sense of consistency for an Alzheimers or dementia patient and help ease the demands of caregiving. Of course, as your loved ones ability to handle tasks deteriorates, youll need to update and revise these routines.
Keep a sense of structure and familiarity. Try to keep consistent daily times for activities such as waking up, mealtimes, dressing, receiving visitors, and bedtime. Keeping these things at the same time and place can help orientate the person with dementia. Use cues to establish the different times of dayopening the curtains in the morning, for example, or playing soothing music at night to indicate bedtime.
Involve your loved one in daily activities as much as theyre able. For example, they may not be able to tie their shoes, but may be able to put clothes in the hamper. Clipping plants in the yard may not be safe, but they may be able to weed, plant, or water.
Vary activities to stimulate different sensessight, smell, hearing, and touchand movement. For example, you can try singing songs, telling stories, dancing, walking, or tactile activities such as painting, gardening, or playing with pets.
Spend time outdoors. Going for a drive, visiting a park, or taking a short walk can be very therapeutic. Even just sitting outside can be relaxing.
Capacity To Make And Execute A Will
The mental ability to make and execute a will is called “testamentary capacity.” Wills often are challenged when it is suspected the “testator” — the person who signed the will — lacked testamentary capacity at the time .
Statutes and case law may vary among different jurisdictions, but testamentary capacity generally requires that the testator was aware of the following when signing the will:
- The extent and value of their property
- Those who are the natural beneficiaries of their estate
- The disposition he or she is making
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Tips For Caregivers And Families Of People With Dementia
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A caregiver, sometimes referred to as a caretaker, refers to anyone who provides care for another person. Millions of people living in the United States take care of a friend or family member with Alzheimers disease or a related dementia. Sometimes caregivers live with the person or nearby, other times they live far away. For many families, caring for a person with dementia isnt just one persons job, but the role of many people who share tasks and responsibilities. No matter what kind of caregiver you are, taking care of another person can be overwhelming at times. These tips and suggestions may help with everyday care and tasks.
Caregiving In The Early Stages Of Alzheimers Or Dementia
In the early stages of Alzheimers disease or another type of dementia, your loved one may not need much caregiving assistance. Rather, your role initially may be to help them come to terms with their diagnosis, plan for the future, and stay as active, healthy, and engaged as possible.
Accept the diagnosis. Accepting a dementia diagnosis can be just as difficult for family members as it for the patient. Allow yourself and your loved one time to process the news, transition to the new situation, and grieve your losses. But dont let denial prevent you from seeking early intervention.
Deal with conflicting emotions. Feelings of anger, frustration, disbelief, grief, denial, and fear are common in the early stages of Alzheimers or dementiafor both the patient and you, the caregiver. Let your loved one express what theyre feeling and encourage them to continue pursuing activities that add meaning and purpose to their life. To deal with your own fears, doubts, and sadness, find others you can confide in.
Make use of available resources. There are a wealth of community and online resources to help you provide effective care on this journey. Start by finding the Alzheimers Association in your country . These organizations offer practical support, helplines, advice, and training for caregivers and their families. They can also put you in touch with local support groups.
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Legal Issues: Caring For Parents With Dementia
Created by FindLaw’s team of legal writers and editors| Last updated May 17, 2021
Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and other disorders that cause dementia have become more common among aging adults. While any form of memory loss is emotionally devastating for everyone involved, dementia can present extraordinary challenges for older adults and their families when drafting a will, making health care decisions, and taking care of other legal and financial matters.
Moreover, it is often the children of dementia-affected adults who end up making decisions on their behalf. But it is important for family members to understand the legal and financial implications of their actions.
The following factors should be considered when assessing your loved one’s mental capacity for making important legal, financial, and health-related decisions.
Coping Tips For Caregiving And Alleviating Stress
While behavioral changes are always challenging for adult children caring for a parent with dementia, some general communication tips can help you cope in this new environment daily. Implementing these communication strategies can create a more positive experience overall.
Start by paying particular attention to your tone of voice and facial expressions. While dementia takes away memory, it doesnt take away emotions. Setting a positive atmosphere through body language and voice goes a long way towards putting those with dementia at ease.
Its also important to simplify what it is you want to convey. Dementia innately makes it harder for someone suffering from the condition to focus. Making your message clear, concise, and direct is always helpful. If you have something important to say to a parent with dementia, be sure to remove all surrounding distractions before you deliver the message to avoid frustration.
Everyone could use a little reassurance from time to time, and its no exception for those who have dementia. Consistently let your parent know that they are safe and loved. This type of messaging also works to put you at ease when things get complicated.
Finally, be sure to find time to laugh. A sense of humor is empowering for both you and your parent with dementia. Humor lightens the mood and can help everyone focus on relationships instead of frustrations for a while.
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