A Caregiver Poem By Siv Goulding
Fulfilling a promise,
toiling through thin and thick.
Commitments abounding
to family, friends, work and all.
No time to smell roses or savor the sunset.
Feelings suppressed, from dreams unfulfilled,
Intimacy shattered and memories erased,
friendships faded and love encaged.
Release yourself from frustration and anger.
Release yourself from the burden of guilt!
Let the tears roll free, to let out all the sadness.
Give others a chance to share in the care,
a chance to give back before it’s too late.
Link up with the world,
refresh your perspective.
Dare caring for you, both your body and soul.
Release yourself to be who you are,
with dreams to fulfill while able and strong.
Embrace your life, the gift you were given,
you are not to be blamed for your loved one’s decline.
Renewed, you can blossom,
freed up from the burden of guilt and despair.
Reborn, love can flourish,
and your care can become a blessing to share.
Dementia Is My Name By Josey Henjes
In this final poem, poet Josey Henjes is very frank about the brutality and pain of Dementia on both the victim and their family. Heartbreakingly, she writes,
I will leave them with a blank canvas where pictures were once stored. I will rot their conscious mind of all the things they once adored.
I am on a feeding frenzy and they are my perfect host. No amount of medicine can stop me, I just love to boast.
Its A Long Goodbye By Unknown Author
There is lamentation following the passage of time with the failure of ones memory. And while its unclear whether the author is a partner or child, what is clear is that their relationship had been long.
Even more so, no matter the length of the past relationshipits the goodbye that occurs over such a long space of time that is heartbreaking.
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When My Grandad Had Dementia By Katelan Carter
It was a hard time in our lives,
When my Grandad had dementia.
He found things hard and would suffer,
So my Nan was like a carer.
He used to mix me and my sister up,
When my Grandad had dementia.
Bonnie was his favourite pup,
And she used to nap with him on the sofa.
His step were slow, stiff and heavy,
When my Grandad had dementia.
But then one night we got a call,
About his terrible fall.
Mum went to see him hospital,
When my Grandad had dementia.
I tried to see the light of the tunnel,
Playing on the swings at the park.
One day at school snow started to fall,
When my Grandad had dementia.
In my heart I knew it was a sign.
I wondered whether everything was fine.
After school I got told the news,
And instantly my heart broke and bruised.
He wasnt coming home.
Instead heaven he went.
When my Grandad died with dementia.
At The Easel With Alzheimers By Rachel Dacus
Rachel Dacus succeeds at the effortless literary weaving of the science, imagery, and the coping responses of a father whose memory is fading. Take a peek.
I skip over laughablelapses, as when he asks me where I liveand then pretends he was kidding. Name-dropping, his mind grows patches, nicksand spores like the salt on his aluminumwindows that will eventually make them stick.
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A Poem From An Alzheimers Patient
DO NOT ASK ME TO REMEMBER,DONT TRY TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND.LET ME REST AND KNOW YOURE WITH ME,KISS MY CHEEK AND HOLD MY HAND.
IM SO CONFUSED BEYOND YOUR CONCEPT,I AM SAD AND SICK AND LOST.ALL I KNOW IS THAT I NEED YOU,TO BE WITH ME AT ALL COST.
SO DO NOT LOSE YOUR PATIENCE WITH ME,DO NOT SCOLD OR CURSE OR CRY.I CANT HELP THE WAY IM ACTING,CANT BE DIFFERENT THOUGH I TRY.
JUST REMEMBER THAT I NEED YOU,THAT THE BEST OF ME IS GONE.PLEASE DONT FAIL TO STAND BESIDE ME,LOVE ME TIL MY LIFE IS GONE.
Alzheimers Poem
Thank you for sharing this poem, George Baskfield. George lost his wife, Helen, to Alzheimers disease. He kept this poem posted on his refrigerator and looked at it when he needed strength during his journey.
We Are Caregivers For Life By Mysendoffcom
We were once known as undertakers, undertaking a calling others would not.
We are now funeral directors, giving caring direction so those gone aren’t forgot.
We are frontline supporters who know the path we’ll all take.
We guide families through loss with the choices they make.
We provide answers to questions with a personal touch.
We help celebrate a life that still means so much.
We serve those who have left, comforting those left behind.
We promise to be understanding, compassionate, and kind.
We arrange funerals with good judgement that help start the journey.
We bring comfort and confidence so our families needn’t worry.
We understand it’s alright to shed tears, have regrets, and sorrow.
We provide a harbor of calm offering hope for tomorrow.
We know that loving and losing is all part of living.
We ensure a gathering takes place so others can share in the giving.
We help those who remain remember their loved ones now gone.
We encourage good memories with tribute, tradition, and song.
We give strength and support to the families we serve.
We work hard to provide the dignity we know they deserve.
We are caregivers for life who also care for the dead.
We share with the living where our life’s calling has led.
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Lessons From A Caregiver By Elder Pilot
Happiness is inevitable, she said,
I don’t wake up joyful every morning.
I find beauty in the little things.
Happiness is everywhere,
If we are open to possibilities.
Sadness is inevitable, she said,
There will be tears and trials,
There will be sorrows and pain,
But sadness brings appreciation,
Of brighter days and rainbows waiting.
Fear is inevitable, she said,
Because we cannot predict the future.
We can only use our best judgment,
And embrace life as a gift,
Bequeathed, and measured, by the moments.
Anger is inevitable she said,
There will always be others contrary,
To the path that we have defined as ours.
Forgiveness of self, is without question
And forgiveness of others facilitates healing.
Mistakes are inevitable, she said,
We are human beings, no more, no less,
And suffering relates to our imperfections.
But errors yield strength and discovery,
And the recognition that love outweighs pain.
Death is inevitable, she said,
But those who have walked before me,
Were neither stronger, nor weaker,
And because of this, I am not alone.
I will face the journey with grace and dignity.
How do you keep your faith I said,
In a world where so many injustices prevail?
Open your eyes and yield, she said.
Each breath is a blessing, gifted by your maker,
And you are but a rain drop, in a perfect storm.
A Dementia Friend By Sarah Merriman
Sarah Merrimans poem is filled with heartfelt lessons about what its like to live with early Dementia.
Please just stop and chat a while.Youll cheer me up and make my day,Maybe, well laugh at things I say.For theres still humour to be found,It is not doom and gloom, all round.
Although your loved one or friend may be forgetful, they can still enjoy life and still love to have visitors, yet they need patience, and most of allthey need friends to be supportive.
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Visiting Angel By Kimberly W
I am blessed and I am grateful
To have a job that doesn’t seem like work
Because of all the many perks
I know this job came from above
Because it is one I very much love
The only thing that makes me blue
Is that sometimes I really miss you
Some call me a visiting angel
And I wish I did have wings
So I could see you more often
And we could have time for things
So don’t think I have forgotten
Don’t think I do not care
Because my love for you
Will always be right here
I am needed somewhere else right now
So when you think of me, please say a prayer
And you will see I will come visit as soon as I am free
Resources For Caregivers Of People With Alzheimers Disease And Related Dementias
When a family member or loved one has Alzheimers disease or a related dementia, you may find yourself left with more questions than answers. These diseases change the way a person thinks and acts, and can be very challenging, especially for those in a caretaking role. Learning more about these diseases, what to expect, and what you can do can make a difference in a caregivers health and well-being and the well-being of the person youre caring for.
The federal government offers reliable resources on Alzheimers disease and related dementias and can connect you to important information about care and support. You can use the pages on this website and resources below to find more information from government sources. The information provided on these websites has been reviewed by experts in their fields. Health care providers, case managers, social workers, and nonprofit organizations may also be helpful.
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Best Alzheimers Quotes And Sayings
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What really scares me is Alzheimers or premature senility, losing that ability to read and enjoy and to write. And you do it, and some days maybe arent so good, and then some days, you really catch a wave, and its as good as it ever was. Stephen King
Mans memory shapes its own eden within. Jorge Luis Borges
You cant converse with Alzheimers sufferers in the way you do with others the dialogue tends to go round in circles. Kevin Whately
Alzheimers disease is death before death, and Im terrified of it. Joey Comeau
Suffering is always hard to quantify especially when the pain is caused by as cruel a disease as Alzheimers. Most illnesses attack the body Alzheimers destroys the mind and in the process, annihilates the very self. Jeffrey Kluger
The thing about Alzheimers is that its its sort of like all these little, small deaths along the way, before they actually physically die. Lucinda Williams
The great tragedy of Alzheimers disease, and the reason why we dread it, is that it leaves us with no defence, not even against those who love us. P. D. James
I think the earlier stages of Alzheimers are the hardest. Particularly because the person knows that they are losing awareness. Theyre aware that theyre losing awareness, and you see them struggling. Patti Davis
I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say Ive got Alzheimers. Terry Pratchett
I Always Felt That Of The Over 500 Poems That I Have Written This One Was The Most Insightful As It Was Written When My Older Sister Started Through This Pattern Now At 92 I Am Watching Myself Carefully And Thanking God I Am Still Ok I’m Also Glad That I Lived Through The Era When Music Was Music And Poetry Was Rhythm And Rhyme I Am Grateful For My File Of Special Letters From People From All Over The World Who Read My Poetry And Let Me Know They Were Amused Comforted Or Inspired
Memories! I was 53, he 54 when the complications of Alzheimer’s took him. At his prime as an exporter, his secretary fell for him. I left and visited Canada for 3 months, but on my return,…
I see the sadness in your eyes,The times that you are knowingWhat’s happening to your wondrous mind,The symptoms you are showing.It was so hard to recognizeWhen they started coming through.The little things that changed youFrom the person that I knew.The doctor’s confirmationWas so hard to accept,To know that little could be done,That there’s no cure as of yet.Forgive me, dear, if sometimesI give in to my frustrations.It’s just so overwhelming,This change in our relations.Now I’m the one to be on guard,To keep you safe from harm,Protecting you the best I canAnd not showing my alarm.I hope you still can understandHow much you mean to me.Though you curse me or forget me,I’ll accept what has to be.For I will still rememberThe joys that we once shared.You showed me in so many waysHow very much you cared.I pray to God to give me strengthTo do what must be done,To trust that in the futureThis battle will be won.
ABOUT THE POET:
Words have always been an important part of my life. My mother taught to read before I started school and coached me through winning spelling contests. I had to learn the meaning of the words, too. I’ve written books and articles for Salesian Inspirational Mission, Chicken Soup for the Sister’s Soul, for newspapers and magazines, but receiving…
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Do Not Ask Me To Remember By Owen Darnell
Darnells poem evokes the tragedy that often happens to patients with memory loss. Unfortunately, because they cant remember most things, this alters their personality. And, sometimes, people arent so kind.
Do not lose your patience with me,Do not scold or curse or cry.I cant help the way Im acting,Cant be different though I try.
I Talked To A Lady By Tanya Howden
I talked to a lady yesterday
She didnt know my name
She was amazed to hear about my past
and the places I had been
Her daughters life so similar
filled her with awe and fear
She looked at me bewildered
could this really be real?
We talked about her family
We talked about her past
We talked about the folk shed known
Their walk their talk their cheer
The ones who floated through her world
And those who stopped to share
We talked about the future
her hopes her dreams her fears
We talked about her sorrows
All the sadness life threw in
We talked about her children
We giggled and cried and laughed
at a life so rich so full
And in a moment shared
sat in silence with our thoughts
And I whispered Goodnight Mother
as her eyes succumbed to dreams
I talked to a lady today
She didnt know my name
She was amazed to hear about my past
and the places I had been
Her daughters life so similar
filled her with awe and fear
She looked at me bewildered
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My Daughter My Caregiver By Sylvia Finegan
You wore buttons and bows, timid and shy
Such a sweet little girl, apple of my eye.
You loved pretty dresses, all frilly with lace
Your eyes seemed to dance in your beautiful face.
We were best friends through your teen years
I shared your excitement and wiped away tears.
Now you’re a woman, with your own family
But with all that you do, you still make time for me.
You call or come over nearly every day
Just to make sure that I am okay.
You take great care of me, that is for sure
I am very blessed to have you, for a daughter!
Source:
When I Wander By Norman Mcnamara
When I Wander is a peek into the struggles that people with Dementia go through daily. They forget how to ask for things and scream instead. Or theyll wander around trying to figure out what theyve misplaced or what they were trying to do.
Everything is a struggle, but receiving understanding doesnt have to be.
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Here Are Some Poems And Collections That May Speak To You In Your Caregiving Experience:
Dementia poems for caregivers. May this prayer be of help if you are a caregiver. my caregiver mantra is to remember: My friends dad has this. For the first time in my life i came face to face with the struggle of.
Those who have been caregivers. Pain is watching yourself fade into a helpless person. There is none more deserving than one with the caregiver ability. I am the caregiver, the watcher, the guide.
I watch the worry fall away from your face. It includes free verse, lyrical, prose, and formal poems. im still a person by judy lauer. Provide strength to make it through this day.
When i grow weary, provide me with relief. Here, 40 inspirational quotes for caregivers that could give you just the boost of support you need to keep going. I walk down the hall with you by my side a smile, a laugh, a hug, or embrace i watch the worry fall away from your face i am the caregiver, the watcher, the guide i walk down the hall with you by my side i am your compass, your shining north star i try to remind you just who you are i am the caregiver, the watcher, the guide i walk down the hall with you by my side pictures. I try to remind you of just who you are.
Do not ask me to remember by owen darnell. Millions of people living in the united states take care of a friend or family member with alzheimers disease or a related dementia. there are only four kinds of people in the world. Pray for me i was once like you.
Q& a With Margaret Stawowy And Jim Cokas Editors Of Storms Of The Inland Sea: Poems Of Alzheimers And Dementia Caregiving
Storms of the Inland Sea: Poems of Alzheimerâs and Dementia Caregiving, is an anthology edited by poets and former dementia caregivers Margaret Stawowy and Jim Cokas. The book can be purchased here or directly from the publisher.
Did you have a goal or mission in mind when creating Storms of the Inland Sea: Poems of Alzheimerâs and Dementia Caregiving?
With this anthology, we aim to support and raise awareness for health providers and caregivers, past, present, and future, who battle each and every day. Caregiving is largely an equity issue as it is often underpaid or unpaid, within a system that ignores the struggles of families, workers, and most disheartening of all, those who suffer from dementia and Alzheimerâs. Also, no other published work has addressed the caregiving aspect of Alzheimerâs and dementia from the vantage point of poetry. This anthology is unique and long overdue.
Can you give some background about the featured poets in the anthology?
Weâve included many nationally recognized and respected poets with bios on the Poetry Foundation website and/or poets.org . Other gifted writers from various walks of life have also participated, including a prison inmate, a physician, nursing home staff, ministers, professors, and of course, friends, sons and daughters, and husbands and wives.
Who should read this book?
Family Caregiver Alliance®
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