Listening To And Understanding Someone With Dementia
Communication is a two-way process. As a carer of someone with dementia, you will probably have to learn to listen more carefully.
You may need to be more aware of non-verbal messages, such as facial expressions and body language. You may have to use more physical contact, such as reassuring pats on the arm, or smile as well as speaking.
Active listening can help:
- use eye contact to look at the person, and encourage them to look at you when either of you are talking
- try not to interrupt them, even if you think you know what they’re saying
- stop what you’re doing so you can give the person your full attention while they speak
- minimise distractions that may get in the way of communication, such as the television or the radio playing too loudly, but always check if it’s OK to do so
- repeat what you heard back to the person and ask if it’s accurate, or ask them to repeat what they said
Page last reviewed: 9 January 2020 Next review due: 9 January 2023
If The Person Is Aware Of Memory Loss
Since the disease is being diagnosed at earlier stages, many people are aware of how it is impacting their memory. This can make communication even more sensitive because they may become frustrated when they are aware of the memory loss. Here are some tips for how to help someone who knows they have memory problems.
- Take time to listen. They may want to talk about the changes they are noticing
- Be as sensitive as you can and try to understand it is a struggle for them to communicate. Dont correct them every time they forget something or say something odd
- Be patient when they have a difficult time finding the right words
- Find a balance between helping them find the right words and putting words in their mouth
- Be aware of nonverbal communication. As they lose the ability to speak clearly, they may rely on other ways to communicate their thoughts and feelings
How To Talk To Someone With Dementia Alzheimer’s Or Memory Loss
Communicating with a person with memory loss can be difficult, but the right strategies can bridge the gap and foster a more fulfilling relationship between you and your patient or loved one.
Those struggling to communicate with a person who has memory loss are not alone. As many as four million people in the US may have Alzheimer’s, and, as our population ages, that number is expected to increase. Anyone who is a senior caregiver is likely to be affected and will need to understand how to cope with what is happening.
Memory loss associated with aging, dementia, and Alzheimer’s typically doesnt happen overnight. Slowly, little-by-little, it sneaks up, until one day, family members realize that they can no longer communicate in the same way with the person they’ve known for years. They suddenly can’t rely on their words and their sentences dont match the situation.
Because we cannot see the diseasethe way we see a broken armits even more confusing when caregivers see how their patient and/or loved one will have good and bad days. The days when theyre alert and clear-headed make a caregiver hopeful. Then the bad days come, and family members and caregivers feel the pain of losing their patient and/or loved one all over again. This slow and normal progression of the disease makes communication a major challenge for caregivers.
This blog will share more information and advice to improve communication, including:
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Tips For Communicating With A Person With Dementia
People with dementia may face many challenges in communicating with others. Here, we share tips on the small but important changes you can make to improve communication.
Communication is fundamental to our ability to express ourselves, and our relationships with other people.
We communicate not only through our words but also our body language, facial expressions and tone of voice but people with dementia may have challenges with all of these forms of communication.
They may experience:
- difficulty finding the right words, and sometimes using the wrong word
- difficulty pronouncing words
- muddling words, such as aminal rather than animal
- problems following a conversation, especially in a noisy environment
- difficulty understanding humour or sarcasm
- difficulty reading other peoples emotions or understanding their behaviours
- a tendency to repeat themselves
- fluctuating concentration and communication abilities, often caused by tiredness or ill health
- stress caused by struggling to make their views, needs and feelings known
A person with dementia can often understand far more than they can communicate, so always try to involve them in your conversation.
Small changes in your approach can make a big difference. You could try:
You could also ask the persons GP or specialist if a referral to a speech and language therapist might be beneficial.
Listening To And Understanding Someone With A Dementia
Communication is a two-way process. If you are a carer of someone with dementia, you will probably have to learn to listen more carefully.
Active listening can help to improve communication between you and the person you’re caring for.
Active listening includes:
- using eye contact to look at the person, and encouraging them to look at you when either of you are talking
- trying not to interrupt them, even if you think you know what they’re saying
- stopping what you’re doing so you can give the person your full attention while they speak
- minimising distractions that may get in the way of communication, such as the television or the radio playing too loudly, but always check if it’s OK to do so
- repeating what you heard back to the person and asking if it’s accurate, or asking them to repeat what they said
Find out more about communicating with people with dementia on the NHS website.
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Use Your Name And Others Names
Identifying yourself and others by name rather than by relationship is helpful, Gurung says. People with dementia may be more present in an earlier time in their life. This could be before you were their child or partner.
Rather than trying to reorient to today, it can be better to say, Hi, its me, Brenda, instead of, Hi Mom. Its Brenda, your daughter. Even with family members, you may find it more useful to call them by their preferred name rather than their title.
Tips For Effective Communication In Each Stage Of Dementia
Effectively communicating with your loved one will be different in each stage of the disease. Because Alzheimers and related forms of dementia affect each person differently, assumptions cannot be made about the communication abilities of each individual with the disease.
Generally speaking, these tips can help caregivers, friends, and family communicate more effectively with loved ones with dementia as the disease progresses.
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Effective Communication Improves Resident Outcomes
Effective communication is essential not only for ensuring resident safety but also for ensuring optimal function and quality of life for patients with dementia.
As the U.S. population ages, the need for healthcare workers who are trained to effectively communicate and interact with dementia patients will grow. DVD videos and online medical courses, such as those offered by Medcom, are powerful cost-effective tools for educating nurses, CNAs, and other caregivers about dementia.
Common Frustrations & Difficulties
Communicating with a person with memory loss can be difficult, but the right strategies can bridge the gap and foster a more fulfilling relationship between the patient and/or loved one. For caregiverswhether you’re a professional or a family member caring for a loved oneits important to adopt a positive attitude to effectively communicate.
Engaging with patients and/or loved ones in an encouraging and patient manner will help minimize feelings of frustration. If you’re struggling to connect with a patient and/or loved one with memory loss, its important to know a few common frustrations and traps and how you can avoid them.
First, remind yourself that people with dementia and/or Alzheimers only have the present moment, so we can let them know that we enjoy their company. When caring for someone who has the disease, the most important thing to take care of is that persons feelings. A person with memory loss cant remember the minute before, they dont know whats going to happen in the next minute. They cant do that kind of thinking, so how they feel right now is the most important thing to pay attention to.
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Play To Their Strengths
Sometimes memory loss is so devastating that we all forget that there is a person still in there somewhere. Family members can be distraught by what’s missing and forget that there’s still a lot there within the person, and that they have strengths.
They still have long-term memory, so its up to the caregiver and/or family member to find them. It’s interesting that, medically, doctors do tests on other conditions but when it comes to memory loss, it’s often looked at like a switch: Either they got it, or they don’t. Just like everything else, there’s a progression of memory loss, and its up to the caregiver and/or family member to find out where the patient and/or loved one is, and bolster that.
Strength #1: Long-term memory & stories
Everyone has a short-term memory drawer and long-term memory drawer, and we put information in each. People with dementia and/or Alzheimers have a short-term memory drawer that has no bottom. He/she puts things in, and then they get lost. The long-term memory drawer, however, has a solid bottom. Lots of stories that are retrievable await . Encourage your patients and/or loved ones to tell you stories. You can even use photos to encourage stories. Photos are wonderful long-term memory reminders.
Strength #2: Humor & music
Strength #3: Spirituality
Should You Keep Trying To Communicate
Family members may frequently ask, How often should I visit?, or, Should I visit at all, because they dont seem to be understanding what were saying, most of the time they dont seem to recognize me, etc. Caregivers can encourage family members to visit because its important to them. Also, the person with memory loss may catch some things on some days, and if family members can make the interaction a pleasant moment, it can be rewarding for both.
Communication amongst family becomes particularly difficult when the person with dementia and/or Alzheimers doesn’t recognize family members anymore. In this situation, a spouse or children can think that it doesnt do any good to go talk to the personthat anyone could talk to him/her because they dont remember who they are. But there is a richness that happens because of family history together, something that can only come from people that have been family or friends for a long time.
The type of communication families can get out of visits can be pulled from the strength of the patient and/or loved ones long-term memories. They can still talk about the past, and for family members, to hear those things are perhaps a worthwhile gift.
Even though the patient and/or loved one can no longer communicate the way they used to, there are still other ways to enjoy time together. There is beauty and simplicity in being in the present moment.
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Finding Dementia Communication Techniques That Work
As mentioned earlier, each dementia patients symptoms are unique. It often takes a great deal of patience and trial and error to find solutions to challenges in dementia care, and communication issues are no different. Even if you do find solutions, they may not remain effective throughout a loved ones disease progression. Verbal communication usually isnt possible in the later stages, but it is important to continue communicating with dementia patients no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it becomes.
Tips On Communicating With Alzheimer’s Patients
Communication typically becomes progressively more difficult for people who suffer with Alzheimers disease. If you are caring for elderly parents who have been diagnosed with Alzheimers, you may notice that they struggle to find the right words as they try to express themselves, ask questions, or answer them.
They may also have difficulty understanding what you say to them or be unable to follow conversations very well, particularly when several people are involved in those conversations. If these and other communication issues have become a problem for your loved one, here are 6 tips on communicating with Alzheimer’s patients that can help make things easier and less frustrating for both of you.
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In Their Shoes: Empathizing With Dementia Patients And Their Families
Compassion and empathy are vital when working with dementia patients and their families.
It helps to imagine the situation from their perspective: New residents of an assisted living facility or nursing home are suddenly in an unfamiliar environment, with strange faces, sights, smells, sounds, and corridors, rooms, and passageways they dont recognize. They must adapt to a new, unfamiliar routine. They may not understand why theyre in this new environment and why they cant go home.
Family members often have tremendous guilt about not being able to care for their parents, siblings, or other loved ones with dementia. They may feel guilty about abandoning their loved ones and worry about whether the patients will be properly cared for in their new homes.
Official protocols and procedures aside, its in this context-one of empathy and compassion-that caregivers should approach patients with dementia and their family members.
Strategies For Caregivers: Communicating With Family Members
Care facilities should provide family members with written information about the specific types of dementia affecting their loved ones and counsel family members on what they might expect in the coming weeks and months, especially for new residents of a long-term care facility . Care facilities should:
- Help family members understand that dementia is not a normal part of aging and that their loved ones require special care.
- Remind family members that their loved ones are not playing games, being contrary, or pretending, and that they have no control over their condition.
- Reassure family members that their loved ones will undergo a period of adjustment and that upsets are likely during this time.
- Explain ways family members can make the end-of-life stage more tolerable for their loved ones.
- Provide family members with information about self-care and stress management.
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Be A Patient Listener
Maintain eye contact while your loved one is speaking and be patient if they are struggling to find the words to express themselves or to answer questions appropriately. Offer reassurance and encouragement to help them relax, since being anxious or frustrated can make communication even more of a struggle.
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Besides using your voice, try to communicate using your body, incorporating subtle movements. Demonstrate your meaning with visual cues or gestures. For example, if you say, Lets go for a walk, use an arm motion with your invitation.
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Communicating With Someone Who Has Alzheimers
How can I communicate better with my loved one who has Alzheimers?
Learning about Alzheimers, how it progresses and how it is managed is critical to understanding how best to interact and communicate with a person who has Alzheimers disease. In the process you will learn many tips and strategies for coping with the cognitive and behavioral symptoms of the disease. These symptoms will change as the disease progresses, and you may need to continually adapt strategies in accordance with your loved ones level of function and symptomatic behaviors.
One successful approach to reducing inappropriate behaviors is to communicate within the affected persons frame of reference. Consider how your loved one sees the world and interact with respect for that reality. It can also be helpful to engage the person in reminiscing about happier times by sharing memories and old photos interactions that are focused on past times that the person might be able to recall may be less stressful than trying to communicate about current or recent events, which may not be accessible to the person.
What are some tips for communicating better?
Here are some other tips that might be useful in interacting with a person with Alzheimers:
What communication techniques work best?
A number of specific communication techniques have been shown to be effective in reducing problematic behaviors and improving day-to-day functioning of people with Alzheimers and other dementias:
Communicating With Alzheimers Patients In The Early Stages
When a loved one is diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimers disease, its important to understand what to expect and how to compassionately help, not hinder. Some of the symptoms include the inability to remember the names of new people, forgetting something they just read or heard, losing items, being unable to find the right word, repeating themselves, and losing their train of thought.
When attempting to communicate with Alzheimers patients, caregivers should be patient and encourage them to express their wants, needs and feelings while giving them plenty of time to do so. Learning to communicate with Alzheimers patients should also include keeping them in group conversations and activities, trying not to correct or interrupt them, and not being afraid to joke a little and make them laugh. More tips can be found in the alzu.org blog, Communication Problems in the Early Stages of Alzheimers Disease.
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Dont Counter Aggressive Behavior
People with dementia and/or Alzheimer’s may become aggressive in response to the environment. Bath time is often when the aggressive behavior is displayed. The caregivers and/or family member’s approach may also play a part. Rushing, speaking harshly, or forcing a person may result in an aggressive response. When someone with memory loss displays aggressive behavior, it is a form of communication. It may be the only way a person has left to say, Pay attention to me! I don’t want to take a bath! When someone is communicating vigorously, it is the caregivers and/or family member’s job to respect that communication. Hitting, kicking, or biting are ways of saying, stop. The appropriate response is to stop. That doesnt mean not to try again in five minutes or a half an hour.