Unable To Follow A Set Of Steps
The early signs of dementia in parents often include being unable to follow a series of steps, such as following a recipe or folding laundry.
As dementia progresses, it may be challenging for your parents to complete everyday activities that were once second nature. Skipping steps or forgetting how to do a common task is a key behavior indicator to watch for when wondering, Does my mother have dementia?
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A dementia diagnosis also offers you an opportunity to treasure the remaining time you do have with your loved one. Cherish the moments you have together, and seize opportunities to tell them how much they mean to you. Instead of thinking about the skills they have lost or may lose in the future, try to focus on what your loved one can still do.
She Didn’t Know Who I Was Though I Do Think She Knew That I Was Someone Familiar With Whom She Felt Safe
And, she still loved flowers. My dad often bought her flowers and they shared a love of gardening.
As her dementia progressed and stole from her the names of plants and flowers, I noticed that she now preferred the brightest, most colourful blooms: big bold lilies, multi-coloured tulips, artificially-coloured carnations.
She would always smell their scent. ‘Beautiful’, she would say. And she was, herself, a beautiful soul.
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Dementia In Elderly Parents: Find Hope For Memory Care At Commonwise
Knowing how to tell if a parent has dementia can give you the confidence to approach the symptoms with strength and knowledge. If youve been saying, I think my mother has dementia what should I do? look for these tell-tale signs:
- Unexplained memory loss
- Confusion with time or place
- Difficulty following a set of steps
- Inability to perform complex tasks
- Misplacing things
Dealing With Complex Emotions
Witnessing dementia in a parent is one of the hardest things we face as adults. We see our former caretakers become dependent and disabled, often over a long period of time. Even in the early stages of disease, we confront the vulnerability of someone who at one time we viewed as strong and powerful. The emotional consequences for adult children can seem endless and overwhelming.
Whether we are a direct caregiver or not, there is constant worry and preoccupation. When will mom get worse? Is dad yelling at the nursing aides again? When should we think about memory care? Additionally, one of the most unique aspects of human relationships is that we hold them in mind, and assume they are thinking of us as well. When a parent starts to forget, one of the things we may wonder is how much longer we will remain on their minds. After all, parents are supposed to worry about us, not the other way around.
Some of the hardest things for adult children managing dementia involve balancing worry and the realization that roles have changed. How people cope with these realities depends, in part, on the history of your relationship with your parent.
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How Do You Calm Someone With Dementia
Caring for our elderly parents is not easy, especially if they get stubborn as they age and have signs of dementia in the later stages. They usually resist care and dig in their heels which are among the most common reasons why adult children look for outside help from caregivers or nursing homes.If you are having difficulties taking care of and dealing with a senior parent with dementia, you are not alone! We understand the struggles and challenges when it comes to convincing them to bathe, feeding them or getting them to the doctor, or simply communicating with them. The list practically goes on and on.
Thats why weve created this list of tips and best practices from caregivers, medical doctors, dementia experts, and other professionals, to help families of people with dementia. We hope this guide will help you learn how to foster connections with your loved one or parent suffering from dementia with empathy and care.
Maintain Healthy Lifestyle Habits
In addition to scheduling in time for yourself, youll also want to maintain healthy lifestyle habits.
Some ways to keep your health a priority include:
- Eating healthy meals and snacks
- Exercising regularly
- Attending medical and dental appointments
- Engaging in social activities
Its easy to neglect your own health when youre caring for someone else, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle is necessary when involved in dementia elderly care.
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Brian, Wahroonga
My Care Worker, Karin, is so efficient, capable and caring. She has proved to be intelligent, reliable, conscientious and her integrity is undoubted. She has been a huge factor in my living in my own home with all my health problems. Her assistance in so many ways has contributed greatly to me achieving this and hopefully will continue for some time to come. I am very lucky to have the assistance of such a capable and understanding Care Worker from Oxley Home Care.
Encourage The Consumption Of Food
To help encourage the consumption of food, offer your parent with dementia a sweet meal. Sweet flavors, such as pudding, sliced fruit, and cereals can help spark their appetite. You should also keep distractions away from the dining room to keep your parent focused on eating. When a person with dementia is refusing care or assistance at lunch or dinner, the source of the issue may be a poor appetite. Encourage your loved one to move around in the morning and afternoon to build a healthy appetite. At no point should you try to force-feed them. This can only make the problem worse.
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Is There A Power Of Attorney
If there is a power of attorney in place then the attorney will be legally capable to deal with your mothers affairs.
Keep in mind that your mother may have prepared one without telling you in earlier years, so it might be worth checking with other family members or friends.
If there is not a power of attorney in place then your mothers doctor should be able to advise whether she still has capacity to make a power of attorney, appointing you or another family member to be her attorney. However, the advisor that prepares the power of attorney must be confident that she has still has capacity and understands exactly what it is and what the implications of the document are.
See A Doctor For An Evaluation
Fortunately, there are tests that can indicate the presence of dementia. When you see a parent struggling to remember or having difficulty performing tasks that were once easy, schedule a visit with a doctor or amemory care provider.
A doctor will know how to get a parent tested for dementia and provide guidance on how to talk to aging parents about memory loss.
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S To Take If Your Loved One Has Been Newly Diagnosed With Dementia
You cant change your loved ones diagnosis, but there are things you can do to help them cope and stay healthy and safe for as long as possible.
Caregivers And Family Members Should Always Provide Reassurances
According to the Alzheimers Association, its helpful when you try to say calming phrases such as:Youre safe hereIm sorry that you are upsetIm hereI wont leave you
These words work like a soothing balm that calms down your loved ones and makes them feel safe. Its equally important that you maintain your composure when they get violent or aggressive. Dont get upset, just be positive, remain calm and reassuring. Try to always speak slowly in a soft tone.
11. Use memorabilia and make them remember the good timesYou can always try reminding them about their old adventures, people and places they liked to visit. You can bring pictures or sing their favorite songs. If they have no memory of past events, or they get upset when you bring them up, change the topic, and talk about something else.
12. Ensure everyones safety: the patient with dementia, you, or your caregiverMake sure you and the person are safe. If the person is unable to calm down, seek assistance from others. Always call 911 in emergency situations. If you do call 911, make sure to tell responders the person has dementia, which causes them to act aggressively.- Alzheimers Association
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How To Help An Elderly Parent With Dementia
Unfortunately, dementia still has no treatment or cure so theres no good answer to, How can I treat dementia at home?
However, there are steps you can take to ensure that your loved one enjoys a high quality of life even as they age. Following these steps will also help you to better care for your loved one and relish your time with them.
Here are our top four tips regarding caring for a parent or loved one with dementia.
Angry Agitated Or Rude Behavior
Agitation and aggression are very frightening and difficult to know how to deal with. You may know your parent inside and out, but with dementia they may sound like a different person and behave in ways that could surprise you.
- Try using a calm, yet confident tone.
- Attempt to distract your parent when they start to get agitated and you might be able to prevent an escalation. Present another activity like looking at a photo album, folding laundry, or take them outside. If the environment is overstimulating due to too many people or noises, move the person to a quieter area.
- Consider music. Music has been shown to have a calming effect on people with dementia. Choose music that the person likes and use headphones to eliminate outside noise.
- Talk to your parents doctor about the possibility of medications to help calm agitated behavior. Approach this option with caution and ask about side effects or any other negative consequences.
- Look for opportunities to give your parent control. Ask them what they want to do each day. If they enjoy reminiscing, ask questions about their earlier life. Provide as much structure as possible to create a routine.
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Living Alone With Dementia
One of the most difficult conversations to have with a senior with Alzheimers involves discussing living arrangements. Living alone with dementia is risky, but most seniors prefer to age in place. As the disease progresses, risks of falling, wandering, leaving a stove on, forgetting medications, or experiencing isolation and loneliness increase.
The stage of the disease and safety are important factors to consider when discussing aging in place. Now is the time to consider in home care, support that can prove invaluable to a senior coping with dementia.
When a family comes to me with concerns about a loved one with dementia, I often recommend a home care provider so the older adult can safely remain at home for as long as possible. states Jill W. Love, Geriatric Care Manager with Peters and Love. Caregivers provide valuable assistance with meal preparation, personal care, medication reminders, companionship, supervision, and so much more. Since caregivers get to know their clients very well, they have the ability to improve the older adults quality of life through engagement and personalized care. As a geriatric care manager, I rely on the caregivers observations and insights when considering changes to the care plan, and I consider them an integral part of the care team.
Sometimes, its easier to take smaller steps rather than make one big change. If your aging parent expresses that they want to remain at home:
What To Expect When A Parent Has Dementia
Dealing with a parent who has dementia can feel like a daily battleand you need to be prepared. Before we explain what to do if your parent has dementia or answer How can I help my mother with dementia? you must understand the changes your loved one is experiencing/will experience so you can better support them.
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How Can I Help My Mother With Dementia Without Becoming Her Caregiver
What to do if your parent has dementia: Reach out to a geriatric home care company that can help you make informed decisions regarding your aging loved ones care.
You dont need to feel guilty about asking for help or acknowledging that you cant cope with a dementia parent anymore. Caregiving wasnt meant to be your role. You deserve to be the adult child of an elderly parent, not their caregiver.
As Wisconsins premier geriatric care management company, Stowell Associates guides families like yours through the nuances of elder care. Our geriatric home care specialists work hand-in-hand with adult children and spouses to create personalized care plans that cater to the evolving needs of their aging loved ones.
In addition to providing older adults care management, weve also partnered with TheKey, a home care company that offers in-home caregiving services for seniors. TheKeys caregivers are expertly trained to provide memory care for those living with various conditions from mild cognitive impairment to advanced dementia.
You dont need to worry about whats happening behind the scenes because our geriatric care managers act as liaison between TheKey and your family. Well keep you informed every step of the way. As a team of empathetic elder care professionals, we care about your family like theyre part of ours.
Get in touch with Stowell Associates today to learn more about our care solutions for families of loved ones living with dementia.
Refusing To Move To Assisted Living
At some point, there may be no other option than to move your parent to assisted living. Perhaps your parents caregiving needs have exceeded what you can safely provide. You cant force someone to do something they dont want to do, but you may have to cajole them to guide the process along.
- If it seems like a good idea, visit an assisted living you have in mind. Do this several times and introduce your parent to the staff.
- Try a respite stay for your parent. This is a short term stay in a furnished room to help someone adjust to the idea.
- When all else fails, you may have to make the move without your parents cooperation and hope that with time, things will settle down. Plan on frequent visits after move-in.
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Slowly She Became Less Confident Outside The Home And Using Public Transport
Always a good cook and baker, she started to overcook meals and once set fire to the toast, forgetting it was under the grill. When she realised what she had done, she insisted that she ate it, ‘So didn’t do it again’! She didn’t use the cooker unsupervised after that.
Gradually her cognitive skills, slipped away from her. Once an avid reader, she could no longer follow a novel and although ironically she carried on buying them, most remained unread.
General knowledge crosswords were replaced with word-searches, which she would do at lightning speed. She would read newspapers but become emotionally affected by stories she read. Television changed from being an entertaining distraction to a source of fear and suspicion because she thought whoever she was watching, was watching her.
She was proud, and I think embarrassed, by the changes she recognised were happening to herself. She had helped to care for her own mum who had lived with Alzheimer’s disease for 20 years. But she could not be persuaded to see her GP.
Ways To Care For A Parent With Dementia Who Refuses Help
May 25, 2021Comments are Off
When your parent with dementia refuses help, your first reaction might be frustration. Dont they want help? It may be hard for you to understand, just as its hard for them to understand why they need help. Before you get any more frustrated, we have compiled a list of 10 ways to care for a parent with dementia who refuses care. These tips may provide the exact solution you need.
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